Kate Hudson Dances for Allure
October, 2015

You know that you want to hang out with her.
(Can't say that I blame you.)

She will no doubt leave you broken .. and speaking in tongues.
(Not many girls can say that so convincingly.)

I would be lying if I said that I wasnt curious about the things that she drew on
when delivering that line. Her head-space at that moment.

(They cut away to Bill Murray at that point
so I couldnt probe her further.)

» Wrestling With a Python

When I saw this photo .. it reminded me of the python action.
And there is nothing quite like wrestling with a python.

She is 36 .. same age as the Bug's mom .. when I met her running on the beach.
(Their birthdays are mere days apart.)

Fortunate is the man who has a python to wrestle with.
A most sensuous constrictor.
For this man will sleep well at night. (And wake with a smile.)

» When Something Speaks to You

Much as I appreciate this photo, and yes, I do certainly appreciate it. (And you do, too.)
It was really the article at the Times (Dec 5, 2015) that spoke to me.

I am not going to tell you what it said, no .. because that could easily turn into a rabbit hole.
Of unfathomable proportions.

And one that I am certain you are not ready for.
Tho, there is really no way to prepare you.

But surely you are familiar with the way one thing can make you think of something similar.
And sometimes the connection is not obvious .. to anyone except you.

[ December 5th, btw, is the day that Mandela died .. exactly two years ago today. ]

» Daring the Werewolf in Me to Extend His Typing Claws

And I have been doing this long enough that I know ..
if I grab her image, and post it in a page of its own (.. like I am doing here now)
that I will write stuff underneath it. (Also like I am doing here now.)

Now this is stuff that I would never write in public.
Or so I tell myself .. as I open the file in GIMP.

Now, while I am tweaking the image in GIMP,
I can hear the voices saying, "Dude, we are just gonna post the image and a brief title."
"And we'll use it as a graphic link-reference, where appropriate."
"But we are not going to write anything else below the image. One short sentence max."

Which I have already gone beyond. Far exceeded.
(I really did try to stop at one sentence, but it was definitely a California stop.)

So there is a feeling here .. of playing chicken with myself.
Daring myself (.. surprisingly).
How far will I go?

There is, occasionally, a werewolf aspect to writing ..
.. as there is with life itself ..
such as when the moon is full and the planets are in perfect alignment ..
where the writer simply cannot stop himself .. typing with his claws fully extended.

It's the same as with any endeavor.
Tho, now is not that time.
So, perhaps this is far as I can go right now.

[ xxx pause for effect xxx ]

Tho I can hear a voice saying, "The writer is supposed to challenge himself."
"To push beyond his comfort zone. And this would be a great place. An outstanding place. Right here."

[ All artists, yes .. but especially the writer. ]

But I am not going to let some crazy voice-in-my-head taunt me into doing something that I dont feel ready for.
Not that I havent already done that before .. on too many occasions.

» A Thing for Musicians

But I can say here that .. I googled her ass .. and she has a thing for musicians.
So I feel a vibe with her there.
A natural vibe.

And I must say .. the vibe feels pretty good.

But when you vibe with someone .. you feel like you 'get' them.
Or at least, a part of them.
(Outrageous as that might sound, sometimes.)

» Writing About Things By Writing About Other Things

If you are going to write about an image,
and what that image is saying to you ..
and even if you are going to heavily filter what you write ..
you are still going to have to let that image speak to you.

And even if you are skillful and strong enough to write only about the flip-side (so to speak) ..
this does not mean that you cannot hear what the front-side is saying.

» One of the Most Consequential Moments of My Life

I will tell you, my friend .. notice how she has her left leg raised, and her arms are up.
That is close to what I saw climbing on to me, while I was lying there on her couch.
Very close. (Just take off that black, lacy thing.)

You dont soon forget stuff like that, dawg.
(That is even the same leg that she lifted.)

And look at how developed her right delt is.
You can always tell a yoga-chick by their well-defined delts.
(Which come from doing all those downward-facing dogs.)

There are other ways .. that you can recognize and identify a yoga-chick.
But we won't get into those things here.

But you can bet your ass that she had a big smile on her face.
She was probably thinking, "These guys are too easy."
In retrospect, I can now see that she was definitely a step or two ahead of me.

Women at that age (mid-30's) have lots of power.
They have been around enough to know what is what.
And their bodies have not yet begun to show signs of aging.
(As you can plainly see here.)

If you tangle with a girl in her mid-30's,
you are in for a serious tangle.
You will not get out of that cheaply.

Once their 40's start to become prominent in their mind,
they become conscious of their biological clock.
But in their mid-30's they are still ovulating for fun.

» Measuring Where You Match and Where You Differ

So I was checking out Ms Hudson .. just enough to get a flavor for her.
And I will share with you how I size up and measure a prospective special friend.

Becase I have done this plenty of times. (Tho probably not as many times as Michael Douglas.)
So I have had an abundance of opportunities from which to learn.
(Often the hard way, I'm sad to say.)

But basically you want to see » where you match and » where you differ.
And the differences are important. You want differences. You need differences.
Differences are just as important and many times MORE important than your similarities.

» Unresolved Parental Issues Often Manifest Themselves As Relationship Problems (Dysfunction)

But you want differences that are complementary, and not antagonistic.
And I noticed that she had a shitty bio-dad and a great bio-mom.
Which is the same as me.

Except, this is also opposite of me, because her same-sex parent rocks.
And the problem was with her opposite-sex bio-parent.
Which is opposite of me. (But which is the same as the Dog.)

This would suggest that she has no trouble with herself .. such as that associated with troubled souls.
But maybe she has trouble with guys.
I'm talking about on an intimate level. (The level that lies below logic and reason.)

I admit that it certainly doesnt seem like she has intimacy problems with guys.
But you are not gonna learn these types of things from a magazine.

But then she also had a totally bitchin' step-dad.
Which again, is similar to me.
(Tho that is, admittedly, more of a stretch. But valid nonetheless.)

So, perhaps he was able to compensate enough to neutralize the effects
typically associated with girls who had a shitty dad.

» Girls Who Are Attracted to Musicians

She is attracted to musicians.
Normally I would question such a strategy, saying, "What kind of girl is attracted to musicians?"
Because musicians come with a well-documented history .. where relationships are concerned. No?

I knew a girl who dated a musician. A pretty girl.
There was something dysfunctional there .. with her relationship with the musician.
But I will say no more.

But musicians are going to be frequently surrounded by their adoring fans.
Their adoring hot fans. Smoking hot, sometimes, no doubt.
You really need a gigantic level of trust to endure a relationship that includes such a tempting environment.

I mean, clearly, she is no groupie.
I would imagine that you need a large dose of self-confidence to date a musician.
Or is it a hedge against the emotional terrors of intimacy?

» My #1 Favorite Kate Hudson Movie

Now, I wasnt going to share my Kate Hudson movie story here ..
.. but it just so happens to involve the same girl who had dated the musician.
Who was actually still in love with the musician .. when I saw her.

Tho I did not see her for very long.

And I stopped by her place one evening.
I remember seeing the glow from the candles in her window, and the inviting feeling that this gave me.
Earlier, she had invited me to stop by later.

And she's like, "Hey .. come on in.".. looking genuinely happy to see me.
"I was just getting ready to watch this movie. Come on over here on the couch and snuggle me."
This thing was on Showtime or HBO. (I forget, exactly which one it was.)

"Hey," I think to myself, "what are friends for?"
She was good snuggler .. spoonie-woonie.

» Believing Makes It Real for the Believer

And it was The Skeleton Key, which has only mediocre reviews, and which starts deceptively slow.
But it definitely grabbed me.

And I have even found myself thinking about some of those things from time to time over the years.

There was one scene in particular when the bad people are trying to get her,
and she poured down brick dust under the carpet in front of the doorway.
And the bad people couldnt get into the room.

"Clever girl," I thought.

The bad people couldnt see the brick dust, because it was hidden under the carpet.
But the bad people believed in the power of brick dust ..
.. to keep out people who mean to do you harm (enemies).

So the theme there is that believing makes it real (.. for the believer).
And I could get off on such a tangent there, but I wont.
But I found the movie both entertaining (suspenseful) and thought-provoking.

Also in this movie, they have Gena Rowlands playing the part of Violet.
And in real life, Gena Rowlands used to be a hottie herself .. back in the day.
But now she is old.

And in the movie, she wants to 'take' Kate Hudson's youth and beauty.
So there were a number of things about this movie that seemed a bit too real.
The theme here reminds me, in some ways, of the new Ryan Reynolds movie, Self/less.

» You Have to Love Yourself Enough to Protect Yourself from Emotional Harm and Damage to Your Self-Esteem

But I remember having many late-night conversations with this girl, where I am doing lots of listening.
And I would try to convey to her that, if a person isnt treating you well,
there comes a point where you need to walk .. or it starts to damage your esteem.

The relationship starts doing more harm than good.
You have to do it for yourself .. because you love yourself.

I am not saying that this is easy .. no, sir.
Because I can see how this might represent a terrifying place.

Which is why you give yourselves plenty of time to adapt to one another.
But, if there is no adapting that suits you both, then what?

The elimination of a net-negative (by definition) equals a net positive.
So, why are some so reluctant to cash in their chips for a net-positive gain?

I am speaking in a rational, logical sort of way.
When romantic relationships are often anything but.

But she did not really want to hear this.
Which I can totally understand and easily sympathize with.

Because I have done the same thing myself.
More than once.
Maybe even more than twice.

This lady here, Tracy McMillan, she is saying exactly what I am saying.

Only she says it in a different way.
She calls it marrying yourself.

What a story she has. Much respect.

Her explanation very much speaks to my own life-experience.
Which says that you need to accept yourself, which includes acknowledging and accepting your flaws.
And you have to take care of yourself .. as if you really did love and care for yourself.

And if someone is not treating you well, then you should not let such a person near.
I am kind of tripped out a little, after watching her presentation.
Because, that was not what I was expecting to see and hear.

When she says that you need to bring a whole person into your relationships ..
that is exactly right.
And the degree to which you dont or cant, spells trouble for the relationship.

The concept of bringing a whole person to your relationships is easy to understand.
The trick is in the execution.
This is a very difficult thing to do .. it's not far from impossible.
In my opinion.

» You Can Never Go Back

But here's what you learn » you can never go back.
There's no going back .. you can never go back to way it was.
Much as you might want to .. or hard as you might try.

I am not saying that you cannot go forward .. tho even that is rare.
But you can never go back.

The problem with going forward .. after a relationship has gone nasty is that,
even after you both start saying nice, pretty things again
you can still hear the old, bad, nasty things creeping in among the nice, pretty things.

Yes, I have first-hand experience in this area.
And if you do, too .. then you know exactly what I'm saying.

But, in regard to the dispensing of advice .. I wasnt really the best person to tell her this.
Because it can sound like I am saying these things for selfish reasons.
I mean, it is obvious to me that she is still in love with him.

Tho I will refrain from detailing this obviousness.
And I am secure enough in myself to be okay with this.
My sense of self-worth was not dependent upon or defined by or derived from another person.
(And she was good to me. Very much so.)

Obviously, different things do it for different girls.
Sure, I get that.
( It's the same way with guys. )

This girl actually played the guitar. When I saw it sitting there in the corner,
I could hear the voice in my head say, "If she sings, then you will be in trouble."
Fortunately for me, she didnt sing .. but I was definitely feeling her. (In a big way.)

I probably shouldnt say any more along these lines.
But everybody knows what unrequited love feels like (.. not very good).

But, just because someone can't see our true worth and value, doesnt mean we are worthless.
( It just means they're looking for something different. )

In a way, this stuff is painfully obvious.
But when you are caught up in it .. it's not obvious at all.

And I was genuinely trying to help.
If it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be. (Relationships take two.)
You enjoy what time you have together and look for something bigger and better down the road of life.

You do your best .. to sow good seeds.
Seeds of love and compassion and kindness and understanding and patience and attention and intimacy.
Surely you know the deal.

And part of this is getting to know them better and better all the time.
So you can try to treat her better than she has ever been treated before.
So you try to love her better than anyone has ever loved her before.

Trusting that the universe will send you something better ..
.. if this does not work out (.. which, they usually dont, statistically speaking).

"Oh, look .. there is she is now."

Update Jan 7, 2016 » Rockstars for Breakfast

Kate Hudson was seen in the mountains with a musician,
who happens to be much younger than her. 13 years younger.

Normally I wouldnt give legs to such a story,
but it confirms my point about her having a thing for musicians.
I'm sure she will tell you, "I'm not sure why, but I can just most easily be myself around a musician."

Do you feel that the story plays into my psycho-speculation that she might have problems with men?
I mean, seeing that he is so much younger.
It certainly doesnt disprove my theory.

The age difference gives her a huge advantage.
I bet she is seriously rocking his world.

My experience has been .. that a woman who is even a few years older
possesses vastly more skills.

Older women dating younger men is something of a rarity.
And it says something about the women who are able to pull it off.
It speaks of confidence. (In who they are.) Naughty cougars.

I would imagine that such relationships make other women jealous, no?
Dont be surprised if she sends off a tweet saying something like,
"Not easy to compose a tweat with Nick back there carrying on like a caveman .. lemme tell you. 2016 starts with a bang."

Perhaps it is just a coincidence,
but my friend, who I mentioned earlier, the one who also dated a musician ..
.. she was also older than him. (Tho not 13 years, no.)

The article said that Kate "makes him laugh."
I bet.

From the male side, being with an older woman is an ego-boosting thing.
(Even if the woman isnt as sexy as Kate Hudson.)
I bet his friends are totally jealous.

And you learn so much from older women .. when they feel motivated to take an interest.
It's always time well-spent .. as I'm sure young Nick would readily concur.
(He will never be the same.)

Long as they are both enjoying each other's company, then good for them.
It's definitely an eyebrow-raising story.

She is demonstrating her sex-appeal in a bold way.
She is flexing her (sexy) muscles .. by throwingdown an impressive (rockstar) stallion.
And having her way with him.

I bet that young Nick will be walking with a more-relaxed gait
when you see him after the holidays.

I wonder if she plays the muse.
The job of the muse is to stimulate and evoke and develop the artistry of the artist.
Something for which she seems well-qualified.

» I'm All Yours, Daddy

Oh, look at this .. her photos from the 2016 Golden Globes.
At the Beverly Hilton on January 10th.
She looks like she's not playing around here:

That gets my respiration cranked up. That shit makes me feel aggressive.
It feels like she is almost daring you .. with that choker.
A choker says to the male mind, "I'm all yours, daddy. Do with me what you will."

I would post the full-body shot, but I dont think you could handle it.

She does indeed look here like she eats young, stud rockstars for breakfast.
Does she not?
"Yum. More, please. Mommy's hungry."

I saw some girls at People magazine commenting on her outfit.
And one girl said that she read that some people didnt like her shoes.
And I thought, "Those must have all been girls, because no guy is going to be looking at her shoes."

"Kate Hudson was wearing shoes? You dont say. I didnt even notice."

» Warm Belly Skin After an Extended Abstinence

In the full-length shot, she shows you her belly.
I actually have a good story regarding a belly like that.
Tho I am not sure I could share it here.

In my story, I hadnt had sex for a long time.
A year is a long time to go without sex, no?
And after I havent had sex for a long time, I just need to go slow.
With a new partner, I mean. That is just me.

Good, powerful sex can be overwhelming .. if you are out of practice.
So, one small step at a time. No hurry.
(Most girls are ready to have sex before I am.)
And that's all I should probably say right now.

But, when a girl shows you her belly .. her nice, toned belly ..
it is not difficult to imagine your own belly pressed up against hers.
Particularly when she is pressing hers up against yours.

"How's this working for you, daddy?"

And when you feel that soft, warm skin pressing up against you ..
after she lifts your shirt .. well, you know.

I remember thinking, "Man, this feels intense. I'm glad my pants are still on."

After you havent had sex for a long time
it can feel really good to have soft, warm belly skin pressing up against you.
Really, really good.

Anyway, I kinda got off on a tangent there. (Again.)
I knew this was gonna happen.
So much for one, short sentence.

The end. ■

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