Political Science at its Finest
The Two Cows explanation for what makes... 

.. a Christian Democrat:
You have two cows.
You keep one and give the other to your neighbor.

.. a Socialist:
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

.. an American Republican
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So what?

.. a Communist:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and supplies you with milk.

.. a Fascist:
You have two cows.
The government seizes them both and sells you the milk.
You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

.. an American Democrat:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none. 
You feel guilty for having more than your neighbor. 
You vote people into office who tax your cows. 
This forces you to sell one cow in order to raise money to pay the tax. 
The people you voted for then take your tax money, 
buy a cow & give it to your neighbor. 
You no longer feel guilty.

.. a Democracy, American style:
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point that you have to sell them both 
in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, 
which was a gift from your government.

.. a Capitalist, American style:
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and raise a herd.

.. a Bureaucracy, American style:
You have two cows.
The government takes control of both, shoots one, milks the other, 
pays you for the milk, then pours it down the drain.

.. an American Corporation:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four. 
You're surprised when the cow drops dead.

.. a French Corporation:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three.

.. a Japanese Corporation:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they become half the size of an ordinary cow, 
and produce the milk of ten.
You create a cartoon image called Kowkimon & market it around the world.

.. a German Corporation:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they eat only once a week, milk themselves, 
and live for 100 years.

.. a British Corporation:
You have two cows.
They go mad and die.
Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

.. an Italian Corporation:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
Before you can find out, it's time to break for lunch.

.. a Russian Corporation:
You have two cows.
You count them and determine you have 3.
You count them again and determine you have 7.
You count them one last time and come up with 5
You decide to stop counting & open another bottle of vodka.

.. a Swiss Corporation:
You have 1000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing their cows with you.

.. a Brazilian Corporation:
You have two cows.
You enter into a partnership with an American corporation.
You soon have 1000 cows. 
The corporation declares bankruptcy.

.. an Indian Corporation:
You have two cows.
You worship them.

.. a Chinese Corporation:
You have two cows.
You assign 100 people to milk them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, 
and arrest the reporter covering the story.

.. an Israeli Corporation:
There are these two cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, then sell the rights to the movie.
They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. Who needs people?

.. an Arkansas Corporation:
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks kinda cute...

The end.

This comes from
Jan.

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