Tuesday: 16.May.2006

Final Co-parenting class: trust leads to emotional intimacy

Attended my last court-ordered co-parenting class Saturday. The class lasted 7 weeks, and was held at Chapman University, in Orange. Beautiful campus.

Near the end of the last class, before graduation ceremonies commenced, the instructors (one a PhD) asked if we had any final questions.

I asked if they could sum up the info (tons of it) presented over the past 7 weeks. On the blackboard they drew a large 'V', which represents the life experience of a typical individual.

The beginning of life experience (represented by the very bottom of the 'V') is where they annotated 'trust vs mistrust', which occurs/forms (or should occur) by age = 18 months.

In other words, if the child doesn't develop trust (depending on how it's treated, or mistreated, such as doing what you say you're going to do and being consistent) it will, by default, mistrust.

Much later in the life cycle (much higher in the 'V', where the 'V' is broader), we come to the ultimate aspect (psychologically speaking): emotional intimacy vs separation.

In other words, if the mature person doesn't learn to form emotionally intimate relationships, they will, by default, find themselves emotionally separated.

So there you have it: the life experience summed up, beginning with trust (very early in life) and culminating with emotional intimacy later in adulthood. (I'm currently working on forming my own emotionally intimate relationship.)

And if not, mistrust, by default, leads to emotional separation. So building trust is of crucial importance. Perhaps you know somebody who has a fear of intimacy.

The also mentioned, the child's basic personality is formed by age 6, so those years are obviously key.

I also asked if parents could screw up a child, thru neglect, so bad in its early years, that it might never recover. In other words, broken irreparably. They said, yes, it is possible.

Got my completion certificate. Glad to have my Saturdays back.





Posted by Rad at May 16, 2006 08:59 AM

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