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Nightmare last night. Dreamt I gave the little guy to some lady to watch while I did something .. and she disappeared. What a horrible, helpless feeling. Woke in a panic, freaked out. Feel exhausted now, like I didn't sleep a wink. Glad to wake and realize it was only a dream. Seemed real, vivid. Remember praying, "God, if you bring him back, I'll never let him out of my sight again." That's when I woke, sweating, 5AM. Ate pizza last night, with pepperoni, sausage, etc. Heard spicy foods can influence dreams. ••• continued ••• Also saw movie on TV, where a guy is watching his two kids riding merry-go-round (which we do often). When it stops however, the kids are nowhere to be found. I changed the channel so fast. Can't watch that kind of stuff anymore. Freaks me out. Maybe it put an idea in my head. Also, people have been telling me (regarding the little guy), "He's so beautiful that you have to watch out .. cuz he's the type of baby people try to steal." I'm sure they meant well, but we've all seen the pictures of missing kids printed on milk cartons. I don't need any warnings. I mean, I never let him out of my sight (.. 'cept in my dreams, apparently). I remember, back at the hospital, when he was born, the nurses telling us the FBI actually has a *profile* for people who steal babies (which they watch for, specific to Orange county. California leads the nation in infant abductions): typically women, white, late-30's to mid-40's, overweight (more difficult for overweight women to conceive), married, recent miscarriage or similar loss, no kids of their own, dressed as nurse, during normal business hours, Monday thru Friday... Anyway, enought of that krap. We had the best day yesterday, the little guy & I. Rented a type of bike called a Surrey, which has four wheels, one bench. Peddled the little guy up and down the Balboa peninsula in the afternoon. Gorgeous day. He sat up front, unimpeded view. Great visual stimulation. Lots to look at, in all directions. Got a decent work-out myself, too. (He wasn't much help with the peddling.) Lots of folks out riding & running on the path, greeting the little guy as they passed by. He was digging it. Little Mr. Friendly must've said, "Hi!" fifty times. That's one of the 50-or-so words he knows. (Girls aged 10 or 12 seemed most enamored with him.) We also stopped along the way to jump in the ocean. Water was warm. I stripped him down and and let the waves wash over him. He dug that, too. Could hardly contain himself. Anyway, might have to take a siesta later this afternoon. Still feeling exhausted, shaky. Think I'll pass on the pizza tonight. |
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