Results matching “carrera” from Ye Olde Rad Blog III

An article posted in last week's NY Times has been gnawing at me all weekend. It cites a study performed by two Israelis & a "leading American expert on the psychology of motivation." The single-page piece is titled » "When a Parent's Love Comes with Conditions" .. or » "When 'I Love You' means 'Do as I Say'."

The article can be summed with the following quote:

"The primary message of all types of conditional parenting is that children must earn a parent's love. A steady diet of that, Rogers warned, and children might eventually need a therapist to provide the unconditional acceptance they didn't get when it counted."

Doesn't it seem odd that a study was required to determine that rationing of love & acceptance (like gasoline during a shortage) based on 'performance' .. is detrimental to children? Duh.

First, conditional love is not love. Let's call it by its real name » manipulation. And it's the worst kind of manipulation, cuz children, especially young ones, are at the mercy of their parents.

Moreover, they do not yet possess the skills necessary to recognize and defend against such insidious tactics  .. from people they're so dependent upon (for eveything).

Now, do you know anyone who enjoys being manipulated? Cuz I don't. Heck, even people who enjoy pain don't like being manipulated. Cuz it doesn't really hurt; it just feels slimy. [Speaking of slime & pain, refer to my comments about boiling a frog near the end.]

Not very difficult to tell the difference, either. Kids (who happen to be particularly sensitive) can spot a fake all-the-way across the coffee shop and will turn away .. while gravitating wholeheartedly to the genuine. You can actually observe this play out.

There are many things a parent can use as leverage to encourage (or discourage) a particular behavior. But love should never be included in the leverage toolkit. Same goes for affection & attention .. things too precious to be used as mere bargaining chips.

Withholding love & affection based on behavior is cruel. Sure, it might elicit the desired response .. in the short term. But the child will grow to resent it (.. as does anybody who's being manipulated). Used consistently and frequently enough, it will instill deep-seated feelings of inadequacy .. that may never go away. (You might even know someone like this .. with deformed self-esteem.)

Many times, when a child is acting out, I'd wager it's *because* he or she is not getting the emotional support they need (from a parent). That would be like telling a hungry child » "Stop fussing or I won't give you any food."

[ In the military, we had a saying » "The beatings will continue until morale improves." Same principle. ]

Whichever side of the great nature vs nurture debate you tend to favor, you always return to » the parents .. as the prime causal agent for how a child turns out .. whether it be on count of their genes or their parenting methods (.. or a combination of both).

We were all kids once. (Well, most of us.) So we all have many years of first-hand experience from which to derive our opinions .. of what works, and what doesn't (.. and what really suks). My point is, it's not rocket science.

Changed the type of layout I use on the home page .. to » LIQUID-ELASTIC hybrid. If I did this correctly, you shouldn't notice any difference .. unless you change your default text-size (.. by selecting 'Text Size' from the 'View' menu in IE). Lemme know if you notice any display quirks.

There are 4 different 'types' of layout designs:

1. FIXED (column widths remain fixed, no matter what, used » here)
2. ELASTIC (column widths change with changes to your preferred font-size)
3. LIQUID (column widths change with changes to browser-window sizing, used » here)
4. HYBRID (combination of two or more of the above, used »  here)

I've long preferred LIQUID layouts (sometimes called » FLUID), which resize column widths as you resize your browser window (called the "viewport" by those in the biz). It's easier for me to understand the concept behind LIQUID layouts .. than ELASTIC.

Today however, I'm demo'ing a » HYBRID layout .. that combines elements of both LIQUID & ELASTIC. [ If you've read my SCSI guide, you know I'm a fan of hybrid config's. ]

The center section/column remains » LIQUID, while the two sidebars (blue-green colums) are now » ELASTIC. This means they will resize with changes made to your preferred font-size (e.g. » small, medium, large, gigantic, etc.). The center section will continue to change proportionally, as you resize your browser window - just like before.

Resizing your browser window will no longer affect the width of the blue-green sidebars (which are already skinny), while changing your default font-size will not affect the width of the center column/section.

The design itself of the home page has remained unchanged. Only the 'type' of layout has been modified (.. from LIQUID to » LIQUID-ELASTIC hybrid). This new type of page layout is considered more 'accessible' ..

.. especially for those who might have difficulty reading smaller text, and need to bump up their default font-size.

My driver's license was suspended today. Actually, it was suspended back in January, but the suspension didn't take effect until today. Won't bore you with the gory details, but it had nothing to do with my driving.

So I've been researching the bus schedules here in Orange county .. and been impressed with their system.

For example, they have a trip planner, which allows you to enter a point of origin and a destination, and the planner will spit out an itinerary, which you can sort in differents ways, such as » by fastest route, fewest transfers, or shortest walking distance. Impressive technology.

I even placed a few calls today .. to ask questions about things I couldn't find on their web site, and had zero wait-time. Very pleasant people, too. Again » impressive customer support. Whoever runs that enterprise is doing a great job.

Facts I uncovered:

• OCTA doesn't use transfers.
• Costs $1.50 each time you board a bus (any bus), including those at so-called 'transfers points'. So if your trip involves a transfer, that's $3.
  
  
• Day-pass costs $4. So if your trip will involve more than 2 boardings (which they normally do), best to purchase a day-pass.
• Kids 6 and under ride free. So the Bug is good to go. (He's 4.)
  
  
• Exact change required, as drivers don't make change. (Passes can be purchased from driver.)
• Week-pass also available .. for $20. (Doesn't seem like a great deal to me.)
  

If you view this home page in Firefox (or a browser other than IE or Opera), you'll notice I added some rounded corners.

Been reluctant to spend much time focusing on site styling, preferring rather to concentrate on generating » content.

In the world of cars, for example, I've always preferred the spartan cockpit of a Porsche to the bells & whistles you find sitting in a corvette. Tho admittedly, that's just my druthers.

My point » function should never take a back seat to form.

I've considered adding rounded corners many times before. Countless techniques exist. But they always seemed a kludge. (Andy agrees.) So I never felt it worth adding the extra markup necessary.

Techniques that use graphics to achieve their effect involve inserting additional HTML elements that are otherwise unnecessary, because current CSS standards (v2.1) allow only 1 background image per element (while each box has 4 corners). Future versions of CSS (v3.0) will support 8 images per element (for this very reason).

This approach has 2 main problems. First, adding (otherwise) unnecessary markup goes against all that is holy to the Web Standards movement, which touts the tenent of 'Semantic Markup' as one of its pillars.

Almost forgot .. June 5th was the site's » 8th anniversary. Happy birthday to Radified.

Was a little distracted at the time. No wonder I missed it. Everything turned out okay, tho. (So we're good to go.)

This is where I usually review the site's origins, philosophy, milestones & future. But I recently revised the About page to include this (+ inject more Rad techno-ego).

Eight is a long time in web-years. We were just getting started back when the dot-com industry was melting-down. Consequently, a small percentage of sites on the web today are older than 8.

This is our first b-day at our new VPS. Maybe someday we'll host on a dedicated web server, or at least a hybrid.

Besides a new web host, this past-year we got an open source version of Movable Type, a new table-less layout for the home page, a new Rad URL (compliments Apache mod_rewrite), and numerous upgrades to the forum (compliments YaBB).

Laggin' on entries lately. Been busy with "legal" stuff. In fact, I just got back from the courthouse. Spent the morning there. (Have to return later this week.) Not a fun place.

Won't bore you with the details, but it's pretty ugly. Imagine the ugliest situation possible, and you're probably in the ballpark.

Since I can no longer afford an attorney, I'm getting killed in the courtroom. (Experienced lawyers know legal tricks.) I do my best. That's all I can do, really. (And pray.)

If I do my best and lose, that would suk, but I could live with that. But I couldn't live with not trying. Still, I'm kinda perplexed by a system that seems to encourage this insanity.

But this is nothing new. Been dealing with this drama for years now. Friends can't understand how I handle it.

I should probably be stressin' more than I am, but (sadly) you kinda get used to it after a while. (Been there, done that.) "Ho hum, here comes more insanity."

The decisions are out of my hands. So fretting does no good. I simply wrap myself in emotional teflon and go with the flow.

Many pages from this web site have been entered into the court record. So I'm intentionally being vague. Hard to believe people are that interested in parsing what I have to say.

Rode my mountain bike to the coffee shop today with laptop in tow. Now, I've carried my laptop along to the coffee shop numerous times (in the car). And I've ridden there plenty of times. But this is the first time I've biked there *with* laptop.

Not sure why this feels like such a cool thing, but it does. Maybe it's the sense of freedom it brings, like backpacking. Liberating.

I was patting myself on the back, telling a friend how I'd rode there with a zero-carbon footprint .. to which he responded, "Yeah, if you don't consider all the jet-fuel they burned flying in that coffee you're drinking."

On a more technical note, I started studying PHP & MySQL this week. Been wanting to learn those technologies for some time. Now felt like the right time.

PHP has become a powerful scripting language, and also very popular (used by more than 20 million web domains). And since it's based on the C programming language, I might learn some of that in the process.

This was first week the Bug was not able to tootle around town in the Porsche. I told him it broke, and that I sold it to a guy who could fix it.

He asked what kind of car I was gonna get. I wasn't sure and asked his opinion.

"You should get a fire engine," he said (while eating an ice cream cone down on Balboa Island). Know of any cheap, used fire engines for sale? =)

On a more technical note .. ever run out of room on your hard drive? particularly your C_drive? (where Windows resides)

Crap Cleaner

This seems to be a common problem with drives that are partitioned too small, and with laptops, which traditionally come with drives much smaller than those in your desktop.

Last week I noticed the engine sagging slighty. Took me a few days to figure out why. A part called the motor mount bracket had broken ($450, just for the part).

My buddy, Big Al, stopped over this morning to take a look. He's an ex crew chief for race cars. Builds race cars for a living. He said the bracket would not be easy to replace.

We'd have to do what is called a partial engine-drop. He also said not to drive the car, cuz the dang engine could fall out.

So I placed an ad on Craig's List. Within the hour, phone rang. Guy named Alex asked how much I thought the car was worth. I really had no idea, given its condition (undriveable).

But I threw out a number I'd be happy with. Alex said, "If you're willing to sell for that, I'll come over right now and buy it sight unseen."

Well, he did. Him and his buddy. Car left a few hours ago on a flatbed. It all went so very fast. (Made me dizzy.) One minute Big Al was ready to fix the car for me; the next (it seems), it was gone.

Finally have a couple of pages to show you .. regarding the new » Guide to Virtual Private Servers. Been a long time since I cranked out a new Rad guide. Feels good. Tho tired now.

It's still a work-in-progress (WIP), but I have a good start on it. The research has already been done (which is the time-consuming part). And the site has already been moved/upgraded, so I have first-hand experience (which we prize) to accompany the research. All that remains » documentation.

I like the idea of this guide. Has a certain coolness, no? Much easier for me to put my head down and plow thru a guide when it has cool-factor.

VPS is all about speed, power & control. (Nearly synonymous with Porsche.) Oozes cool .. (in a geeky-kinda way). Guessing I can have it done in 10 pages. But I keep thinking of more things I should include. So maybe 10 won't be enough?

Planning to include everything *I* would've liked to know .. back when I began my research. It will be a cool guide. Ultra-practical. (Radified.)

Speaking of cool .. if you use Firefox (and who doesn't these days?), and you like things dark .. check out this theme, called » NASA Night Launch. Browsing the forums with a NASA-theme'd Firefox is .. heaven (at night). =)

If you don't hear from me for a few days, I'll be working on the VPS guide. (Update - Just added a 3rd page.)

Logged into my Paypal account today, planning to move fund$ (from my checking account) .. in preparation for paying this month's web hosting fee (with our new provider) .. when I noticed...

.. there was already plenty of cash in the account. (Woohoo!) How did it get in there?

You might've noticed the small Make a Donation button .. found in the left side-bar (have to scroll down). As you know, I don't solicit donations. But if readers feel inspired, there it is.

Timely Donations

Several generous readers donated amounts ranging from $50 to $100 (less a small percentage Paypal keeps for their trouble). Boy, was I stoked!

Funny how donations always seem to arrive when they're needed most.

As a side note, I find it interesting that most donations (by far) come from » Texans. Why is that? Are they more generous than most? .. or drawn more strongly to the site? I have lived in many states, but Texas isn't one of them. So I can't say for sure.

Priorities & Sacrifice

Speaking of money .. all my life, cash was never a problem. I mean (not to brag), I was earning close to $100K fifteen years ago .. (back when 100K was still 100K). I paid ca$h for a Porsche (the Rad-mobile) .. back in the '80's. Even at age 11, I was delivering newspapers 7 days a week. So I've always had plenty of spending-cash .. for long as I can recall.

But ever since I started going to court a few years ago .. well, that wiped me out. And you can't work nuclear just any ol' place. Reactors aren't found on every street corner, or in every town. (Or even in every state.)

Ever have one of those days where everything seems to be "clicking" for you?

While pulling into the (crowded) lot at the coffee shop this morning, I spied the ideal corner spot. But another car (from the opposite direction) beat me to it. Drat!

I looked around. No other space was even close. So I put the car in reverse. But instead of pulling into the spot, the guy in the SUV backed up, then went forward and drove off.

While passing, he motioned me forward and called out, saying (with a big smile), "Go ahead! You guys are worth it."

Before leaving, I mosied over to his table and thanked him for making my day. "Nice way to start the day," I said.

Sitting across from him was his friend, who related a story where, after pulling into a parking spot at a taco joint yesterday (up in LA), he heard (while talking on his cell) someone pounding on his trunk, saying, "You took my space." We all had a good laugh.