Results matching “coffee” from Ye Olde Rad Blog III

I have something to show you. Something very exciting. Sexy, even. "What it is, Rad?" you ask, oozing with curiosity. "A picture of a European supermodel? Lying scantily-clad on the sandy beaches of St. Tropez?"

No, my fellow technoluster. Something far more enticing. And seductive. See » HERE (.. but only if you're 18).

No, your eyes don't deceive you. That's right » a screen-shot from phpMyAdmin showing the tables of a MODx database using the UTF-8 character set and utf8_general_ci collation. Smokin', ain't it?

"But, Rad. I thought you said that was impossible?" It is! .. For mere mortals.

"How did you ever pull it off?" Well, I can tell you that banging my head against the wall produced only limited success. It may've even impeded the process. (I can't remember.)

To be honest, I'm not really sure WHAT the magic-bullet was. Cuz I made a number of changes (including enabling suPHP)  .. which I'll tell you all about. I learned a lot. But first, I need to take care of some biz .. and get some coffee. (Was up pretty late last night. Where did I put that Advil?)

An article posted in last week's NY Times has been gnawing at me all weekend. It cites a study performed by two Israelis & a "leading American expert on the psychology of motivation." The single-page piece is titled » "When a Parent's Love Comes with Conditions" .. or » "When 'I Love You' means 'Do as I Say'."

The article can be summed with the following quote:

"The primary message of all types of conditional parenting is that children must earn a parent's love. A steady diet of that, Rogers warned, and children might eventually need a therapist to provide the unconditional acceptance they didn't get when it counted."

Doesn't it seem odd that a study was required to determine that rationing of love & acceptance (like gasoline during a shortage) based on 'performance' .. is detrimental to children? Duh.

First, conditional love is not love. Let's call it by its real name » manipulation. And it's the worst kind of manipulation, cuz children, especially young ones, are at the mercy of their parents.

Moreover, they do not yet possess the skills necessary to recognize and defend against such insidious tactics  .. from people they're so dependent upon (for eveything).

Now, do you know anyone who enjoys being manipulated? Cuz I don't. Heck, even people who enjoy pain don't like being manipulated. Cuz it doesn't really hurt; it just feels slimy. [Speaking of slime & pain, refer to my comments about boiling a frog near the end.]

Not very difficult to tell the difference, either. Kids (who happen to be particularly sensitive) can spot a fake all-the-way across the coffee shop and will turn away .. while gravitating wholeheartedly to the genuine. You can actually observe this play out.

There are many things a parent can use as leverage to encourage (or discourage) a particular behavior. But love should never be included in the leverage toolkit. Same goes for affection & attention .. things too precious to be used as mere bargaining chips.

Withholding love & affection based on behavior is cruel. Sure, it might elicit the desired response .. in the short term. But the child will grow to resent it (.. as does anybody who's being manipulated). Used consistently and frequently enough, it will instill deep-seated feelings of inadequacy .. that may never go away. (You might even know someone like this .. with deformed self-esteem.)

Many times, when a child is acting out, I'd wager it's *because* he or she is not getting the emotional support they need (from a parent). That would be like telling a hungry child » "Stop fussing or I won't give you any food."

[ In the military, we had a saying » "The beatings will continue until morale improves." Same principle. ]

Whichever side of the great nature vs nurture debate you tend to favor, you always return to » the parents .. as the prime causal agent for how a child turns out .. whether it be on count of their genes or their parenting methods (.. or a combination of both).

We were all kids once. (Well, most of us.) So we all have many years of first-hand experience from which to derive our opinions .. of what works, and what doesn't (.. and what really suks). My point is, it's not rocket science.

On Sundays I resist dawdling before my morning trip to the coffee shop. I aim to get up & get out post-haste .. cuz sometimes the Orange County Rebels (bike group) make a pitstop there (like they did last Sunday) .. creating huge lines (and forever waits).

They take all the seats and are a noisy bunch (.. ~50 of them). I'm usually half-asleep until I've had my coffee, so the noise & commotion is, uh .. not good.

I've been studying programming recently. One of the first concepts any aspiring programmer learns is the » if-then conditional statement.

Conditional statements take the form: If a particular condition is met, then » do X .. otherwise » do Y.

So I'm riding my bike this morning and approach the intersection at Flower street .. where I wonder, "Did I remember to put the DVD in my hip-pack?" .. cuz I need to return it to the library.

And all of a sudden .. without any effort on my part, this whole if-then conditional statement (beautifully formatted) pops into my conscious mind. Now I'm sure I've negotiated many similar if-then scenarios before .. but never so explicitly.

So I stop the bike at the Flower intersection and peek into my hip-pack. If I have the DVD with me, I'm gonna turn left onto Flower and » take Flower down to the library and drop off the DVD.

But the library sits on a main road (noisy, lotsa traffic). I'd rather take the back roads, which are far more scenic and quiet. So otherwise (then), I continue straight and » take the backroads.

I could've dropped off the DVD after coffee (nothing bothers me after coffee), but I wanted to stop at the grocery store afterwards, and pick up a few things. And the grocery store is the opposite direction (from the library). So I'd have to drop it off now.

Anyway, it surprised me to see how quickly & easily this technological concept had superimposed itself (unrequested, no less) over my conscious life. So sharp & clear. Pronounced & pervasive. I mean, I didn't really want this formal if-then statement to invade my thinking. I'd rather keep that aspect isolated to the Programming part of my life. But I couldn't.

At the coffee shop, I shared my experience with Kurt .. who is always sitting there, programming games on his laptop at the corner table. He's a programmer who specializes in generating 3D graphics for some small Gaming company that makes games for the Nintendo Wii. "You've just decribed the last 30 years of my life," he said.

I'm reluctant to republish the content of others (as so many sites already do), but .. I found it interesting & noteworthy that » Microsoft has acknowledged Linux as a threat .. especially since I spent so many hours in Linux these past few weeks (learning the Unix shell)

Copy-n-paste snippet (minor Rad-editing for brevity):

"Microsoft acknowledges Linux as the first viable competitor to its Windows client business, due to the use of Linux on netbooks, which are rising in prominence as an alternative to full-sized notebooks.

Microsoft cited Red Hat and Canonical -- the latter of which maintains the Ubuntu Linux distribution -- as competitors to its client business, which includes the desktop version of its Windows OS." </snippet>

Notice how the article said » DESKTOP, and not server. Linux has long been a dominant force in the server market (.. if not the dominant force).

It's difficult to describe why Linux is so cool .. why using it feels so fresh & clean. But I think it has something to do with the good intentions .. that come from thousands of talented programmers donating their time & expertise .. to bring you (for free) an operating system they obviously believe in.

I might be imagining it, but I think you can actually feel these good intentions (while using Linux). Can you feel the difference (in intentions) between someone who genuinely loves you, and someone who is paid to love you?

Moreover, I feel our economy has a lot to do with the Linux threat to the Microsoft desktop. No matter how compelling the product, basic economics suggest it's hard to compete with free. (Which Windows is not.) And in these troubled economic times, free means more than it used to.

Today is the 40th anniversary of the first manned lunar landing (1969) .. a historic event for techies .. cuz it was techies who put us there. And techies used » calculus to put a man on the moon (some 240,000 miles away).

At the heart of calculus lies the notion of » limits (a concept I'm quite familiar with, unfortunately).

Calculus was invented to solve (among other things) the problem associated with finding the instantaneous rate-of-change .. as visualized by the slope of a line tangential to any given point on a curve (of a graph).

To calculate a slope, you might recall (dust off them algebraic brain cells) we pick two representative points, find their difference and divide the » "rise by the run" .. the change-in-Y / change-in-X (.. commonly referred to as "delta-Y over delta-X").

As the change in the X coordinates (recall from basic Algebra) gets smaller and smaller, we get closer and closer to determining the slope (rate-of-change) at a particular point.

The problem however .. is that a point has no size, so the "change" or 'difference' (in the X coordinates) becomes zero. And dividing anything by zero is a major mathematical no-no. (Defined as "undefined" .. a mathematical black hole that will crash your computer.)

See t=13:00 here, and especiaaly t=13:30.

Limits

The concept of » limits was introduced to address this problem. Imagine standing in your living room, and walking half the distance to the furthest wall. Then walk half the distance again. And again & again.

Each time, you keep getting closer & closer. But .. you'll never actually reach the wall (cuz you keep going only half the distance). A hundred years from now, you'll be very, very close (to the wall), but still not quite there.

Getting closer & closer to the wall is analogous to decreasing the size of the difference between the two X coordinates along a curve plotted on a standard graph (which contains an X & Y axis). But the limit (drum-roll, please .. here it comes) is » the wall! .. even tho, in reality, you never actually get there.

That's why the notion of a limit represents a mathemetical "concept" (not reality). If you think about it, you can't really have an instantaneous rate-of-change (.. cuz nothing can change in an instant, cuz an instant contains no time). And the word 'rate' implies "per-unit-something." That 'something can be (and often is) » time.

That's also why the result is called/termed a 'derivative' .. cuz you can't get there with conventional mathematical manipulations. It's kinda like what that old farmer told me down South when I asked for directions » "Son, you can't get there from here." =)

I know a guy who used to make serious bank. He always seemed to have a wad of broccoli handy. So it surprised me to learn he's now living in a ditch.

"Where ya been?" I asked, running into him recently. (Hadn't heard from him in months.)

"I moved," he said. "Where to?" I inquired.

"I'm living in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in San Clemente," he boasted. "Presidential Heights. Not far from where Nixon used to live."

[ I used to live in San Clemente myself, just off Buena Vista, a stone's throw from the beach there, and walking distance to the pier. So I'm familiar with the area. ]

After sharing how his global Internet-based business has been taking a beating, and how he began having trouble making rent, he described how he threw everything into storage (for $55/month) and moved to a "secluded ravine" he'd discovered while surfing nearby.

"I arrive shortly after sunset," he explained regarding his new routine, "and park about a hundred yards away. To discourage hikers, I've moved some brush across the path. I have a sweet little spot, complete with Thermarest pad & sleeping bag. I fall asleep to the sound of the ocean every night."

While showing me a video of his "new home" (recorded on his cell phone), he continued, "A blue jay wakes me every morning. I feed him peanuts."

After an early morning aerobics class (where he showers afterward), he heads off to the library where he begins his work. But while he was in the restroom last week, some kids stole the memory from his laptop.

Was doing good until sunset on Father's day. Then it got to me and the blues arrived. Used to resist sadness, fight it. Now I just go with it. Roll with it. Flow with it, like a canoe downstream. (Resisting and fighting just wears me out.) Been here enough times that I know the drill. No big deal.

There's a prophetic verse in Isaiah saying Jesus was ".. a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief." So it seems okay to be sad, tho not particularly pleasant. I get kinda numb, distant. Feel like crying.

Been reading a book on Zen a friend gave me. Interesting ideas, perspectives. For example, here's a passage I found particularly thought-provoking.

The context is about rejecting the notion that anything that doesn't involve serious effort (and usually pain-n-suffering) is somehow unworthy or worthless. But the concept can be applied in other ways. See here:

Now there do seem to be times when verve & vigor are appropriate. Times when force works with, and not against nature. As Shakespeare said, "There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune." [Julius Caesar, Act 4, scene 3]

But when the tide is not at flood, when mere brawn is up against granite, the effort to go against nature seems more stupid than splendid.

At best, one could say with the French general of the Charge of the Light Brigade, "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre." To call it splendid is to base one's evaluation of man on his animal strength over what is more characteristically human » his intelligence.

This mis-evaluation is perhaps based on the common distrust of intelligence on the part of those who lack it, as something tricky, cunning and weak-spined. But this mis-evaluation also reduces the standards of human character until they are more applicable to pachyderms and rocks than human beings.

For after all, is the final test of character really just in seeing how much suffering you can endure? Your ability to endure depends on how insensitive you are. But being human is about, above all, being sensitive. And this means, the measure of character becomes, among other things, the quality rather than the quantity of your suffering.

The Bug woke extra early this morning. I was kinda hoping he'd sleep-in cuz I stayed up late last night, long after he'd fallen asleep. But no matter, he said, "I wanna watch Harold."

So I put on Harold, fixed him some chocolate milk & Cheerios, and figured it was a good time to grab a quick shower.

Few minutes later he came in and says (excitedly), "It's raining, dad!" .. which is kinda a big thing here is SoCal, where it rains so rarely.

Next thing I know, he returned with an urgency, announcing » "I gotta go poops" .. and proceeds to fill the bathroom with a wonderful aroma .. that can only be fully appreciated by those whose sinuses have been opened by the steamy mist of a hot shower. (The joys of fatherhood.)

Before running out again he says (excitedly), "I'm doing the trench!"

The trench is a ditch we dug yesterday .. some 10-feet long and a shovel's width wide/deep .. that we filled with water to make a » trench. In other words, you could substitute the word 'mud' for trench.

My driver's license was suspended today. Actually, it was suspended back in January, but the suspension didn't take effect until today. Won't bore you with the gory details, but it had nothing to do with my driving.

So I've been researching the bus schedules here in Orange county .. and been impressed with their system.

For example, they have a trip planner, which allows you to enter a point of origin and a destination, and the planner will spit out an itinerary, which you can sort in differents ways, such as » by fastest route, fewest transfers, or shortest walking distance. Impressive technology.

I even placed a few calls today .. to ask questions about things I couldn't find on their web site, and had zero wait-time. Very pleasant people, too. Again » impressive customer support. Whoever runs that enterprise is doing a great job.

Facts I uncovered:

• OCTA doesn't use transfers.
• Costs $1.50 each time you board a bus (any bus), including those at so-called 'transfers points'. So if your trip involves a transfer, that's $3.
  
  
• Day-pass costs $4. So if your trip will involve more than 2 boardings (which they normally do), best to purchase a day-pass.
• Kids 6 and under ride free. So the Bug is good to go. (He's 4.)
  
  
• Exact change required, as drivers don't make change. (Passes can be purchased from driver.)
• Week-pass also available .. for $20. (Doesn't seem like a great deal to me.)
  

The Bug woke last night, crying, "I want my mommy". Very unusual. That's only happened a handful of times in the last 4 years .. usually when he was nursing or sick. But he's no longer nursing and doesn't seem sick.

I tried for 10 or 15 minutes to see if there was something I could do. But it was clear he really wanted his mom.

I tried calling several times, but there was no answer. So I drove him there and knocked on her bedroom window (midnight).

The thing is .. I see him so little as it is, and really look forward to our time together. Plus I have been criticized (in court) for bringing him back before.

But I don't really care what lawyers think (or say). And it's not about me, anyway. So when I could see he really wanted his mom, there was no question about what to do.

But now .. I am feeling very weird. A slew of confusing feeling are running around inside. Did I pay enough attention to him? Shower him with enough love? The thing is, you can *always* pay more attention to your kids, and you can always show them more love.

Got roped into a discussion this weekend .. about the ups-n-downs of dating single-parents .. something with which I have first-hand experience (.. on both sides of that fence).

Divorce is popular here in Southern California. So your chances of meeting an available single-parent are higher here than in other parts of the country.

"Here's a single dad!" called out an acquaintance as I walked by. (.. his table at the coffee shop)

I actually felt somebody grab my arm before I heard his voice. He pulled me over. Hadn't seen him in months. Very athletic fellow. (Always in stellar shape.)

I didn't however, know any of his 3 friends. Two girls & one other guy were seated with him. All seemed very nice, 30-something. None had any kids, nor ever been married. (I remember those days .. sorta.)

Muscles got a chair for me from another table. As I sipped my coffee, they brought me up to speed, sharing some of their experiences dating single parents. I could certainly relate, having had many good experiences of my own. (Kids usually like me, and I certainly enjoy them.)

The biggest turn-off (in my opinion) is when a single mom puts her kid(s) second .. after the relationship with the new guy. Never been able to respect a mom who did that .. no matter how flattering it might seem.

Yet the person who dates a single-parent (as the people seated at this table clearly expressed) don't want to be relegated to an after-thought. They don't want to feel unimportant. So it's not an easy line to tread.

As a single parent, I know that you can't help but feel fondly about people who go out of their way to be nice to your kids. Those who do (go out of their way) get head-of-the-line privileges (so to speak). This is not a conscious decision, mind you. Rather a parent can't help but appreciate (in the fullest sense of the word) those who are nice to our kids (I explained).

As promised, here's some photos from my South Afrikaan friend (who lives in Johannesburg). He works in the Film industry down there and loves cool technology.

Seems like he's always traveling to one exotic place or another .. places with exotic names .. like Drakensberg (Afrikaan: Devil's Mountain) and Patagonia. (Yes, I'm jealous.)

Today's photos come from » Moçambique. (I actually had to look on a map to see where that is .. as is the case with most of the photos he sends.)

Moçambique sits on the east coast of Afrika, just above South Africa. It also shares borders with Zimbabwe, Zambia, Malawi and Tanzania. Off its coast sits the island of Madagascar.

Steve sent 5 pics, with the following note:

Just returned from a weekend escape across the border to Moçambique. Here's some pics from the capital city, Maputo, and surrounding areas.

Jo'burg sits on a high-altitude grassy plain. In comparison to most of Africa, its climate is rather harsh and frigid. Maputo, on the other hand, is further north. It sits right on the coast, and as a result is hot, humid & verdant.