Between you and me .. the thing I am really looking forward to .. is
that day when it occurs to me .. that this 'thing' .. this cancer thing &
especially the EFFECTS of its brutal treatment regimen .. is/are behind me.
I cannot say that today, tho. Because this 'thing' is all up in my ass, presently. Like a toothy croc munching on your butt.
But certainly, day #23 represents at least the beginning of the end. And that alone brings a degree of comfort .. that I
made it beyond treatment and survived.
In other words » the worst is now behind. (Tho, no .. I admit, it
does not feel that way.)
It was not that long ago, you know, when I was writing » "This shit does not look doable. Not from where I currently stand .. at the mid-way point of treatment."
(And it didnt, either. Nor was it later on in treatment.)
While I was waiting recently to see the chemo doctor .. the nurse for the radiation doctor came out and saw me. She came over and sat down and we chatted for 10 minutes .. there in the big waiting room.
She has seen me violently shaking and projectile-vomiting, during my 2nd clinical trial .. so our level of familiarity goes beyond the usual niceties of social grace.
It's interesting how we can develop these mini relationships with people that feel surprisingly intimate ..
» I have been trading emails recently with the sister of clinical trials patient #24. (I was #23, like Michael Jordan.) Her brother is three weeks behind me in treatment. Today is his final chemo and he has one week of radiation left.
Cancer is Such a Mystery
Most interesting of all the things she wrote is this »