Never realized Lightbox was so big. Actually Lightbox itself is only 18-KB, but it uses/needs Prototype.js (which is 124-KB) and Effects.js (which is 40-KB).
Didn't take long, once I delved into the world of WSO, before I began hearing about the virtues of » HTML compression.
Today's entry continues and concludes in Ye Olde Rad Blog III .. see here » HTML Compression Enabled via Apache mod_deflate (gzip)
There's a conflict in every human heart, between the rational and the irrational, between good and evil. And good does not always triumph. Sometimes, the dark side overcomes what Lincoln called 'the better angels of our nature.'
Every man has a breaking point. You and I have. Walt Kurtz has reached his. And very obviously, he has gone insane.
Breaking Point: A Broken Heart
That quote refers to a man reaching his mental breaking point. I've reached a different breaking point: my heart is broken.
Regarding the film (which I've seen several times over the years), I've never considered what it was that supposedly made Kurtz go crazy .. until now.
I mean, they paint him (played by Marlon Brando) as a stud, both mentally and physically. But if you watch the film, I think you'll agree the thing that made him snap was .. being subject to a dysfunctional system.
Today's entry continues and concludes in Ye Olde Rad Blog III .. see here » Every Man has a Breaking Point (Rad's Broken Heart)
He was screwed over pretty badly. Critics claim it was these experiences that enabled him to write with such penetrating insight.
"The writer's own troubled life enabled him to portray with deep sympathy characters who are emotionally and spiritually downtrodden, and who epitomize the traditional Christian conflict between body and spirit.
Dostoyevsky sought to plumb the depths of the psyche, in order to reveal the full range of the human experience, from the basest desires to the most elevated spiritual yearnings.
Above all, he illustrated the universal human struggle to understand both God and self. Dostoyevsky was, as Katherine Mansfield wrote, a man who loved, in spite of everything, adored life, even while he knew the dank, dark places."
I've known a few dank, dark places myself. (Haven't we all?)
"Who loved in spite of..." That's not easy to do. Even those who don't like Dostoevsky concede ungrudgingly he is "a titan of world literature."
- Einstein said,
"Dostoevsky gives me more than any scientist."
- Freud called it,
"The most magnificent novel ever written."
Today's entry continues and concludes in Ye Olde Rad Blog III .. see here » Commiserating with Dostoyevsky (Brothers Karamazov)
"After any great trauma, or crisis, after the shock subsides and the nerves stop twitching, you settle down to the new condition of things, because you know that all possibility of any more change has been used up.
You've seen the pattern finally, because you've stepped back far enough to take in the whole picture."
He gets up and walks to the window, where outside it's pouring rain. The voiceover continues as the sound of rain becomes prominent.
"But it's too late now .. to do anything except accommodate yourself to it. And that's it. There's nothing left to do, or say, except that God and nothing have a lot in common. The end."
Thunder can be heard as the scene fades to black. I could relate to this voiceover, as if Jude were peering into my soul. But then, after a long pause, as we hear thunder rolling in the distance, there's one more line (with the screen still black):
"What you don't know is that you're wrong."
10.Sept.2008 » Imagine a man you've never met, walks up and proceeds to (methodically) mount a bazooka on a tripod right in front of you, and then carefully aims the cross-hairs at your heart before squeezing the trigger ..
Broken, Defeated, Dazed & Confused
.. and you have an idea of how I feel. Defeated, broken. Hollow. Dazed & confused (literally). Not good. It's not the end of the world. (Only feels like it.)
I watched a little of All the King's Men last night, before bed. One scene stood out (as if it were speaking to me), where Sean Penn is devastated by an injustice, while trying to do the right thing, and a man asks him,
"What are you gonna do?"
And he answers (unsteadily, as if he's trying to talk himself into it),
"I'm gonna keep the faith." Today I know that unsteady feeling.
There is definitely a temptation to "give up" .. to stop caring (because it hurts too much & all hope seems lost). But I don't think I am capable of that.
Nothing to Gain, Everything to Lose
Distracted myself today by updating the VPS guide (while listening to Dylan), and going for a walk at the Back bay (at sunset). Hope I can sleep tonight. Think positive thoughts, of a boy with his dad.
08.Sept.2008 » Received my new ear-canal headphones today. First thing I noticed was how comfortable they feel. Wow. I'm stoked!
Sennheiser CX300 Ear Canal Headphones
This was always the biggest problem with other headphones that are inserted into the ear. Some would make my ears so sore after only 15 or 20 minutes that I couldn't wait to yank 'em out.
Sennheiser uses an extra soft moldable rubber that feels like you're wearing slippers.
Over the years, I've tried a dozen different styles of in-ear headphones, and these sound the clearest (by a considerable margin). Listening to a sample of test-songs, I'm hearing things I've never heard before.
Some reviewers complain of excessive bass. While these do have the strongest bass I've ever heard (in a canal headphone, which normally have weak bass), I don't find their bass excessive at all. Rather, it seems just right. (Listening to Pinback now.)
Today's entry continues in Ye Olde Rad Blog III .. see here » Rad Review of Sennheiser CX300-B In-Ear Canal Headphones
06.Sept.2008 » Woke from a dream early this morning that seemed to speak a message to me. In this dream I had recently set out on a long bike-trip, joining three more-experienced riders, who were planning to rendezvous with other small groups at predetermined places/times along the way.
Dream with a Message
The ultimate destination would find a gathering of many such bikers, from many different places around the country. (This represented my first foray on such an extended trip.)
Our first stop en route was scheduled somewhere near Yosemite. Midway thru the first leg of our trip, we stopped at the home of an elderly couple (parents or friends of one of the other riders), where we ate lunch and rested on big, comfy couches.
It surprised me to hear the trip-leader say (an hour before sunset) it was time to saddle up and get back on the road .. after taking such a long break during daylight hours.
First I needed to make a call. That's when I noticed the battery on my cell was low, so I wanted to charge it for 10 minutes before heading out.
The trip-leader said something like,
"If you're not smart enough to charge your phone while we're here, then that's too bad for you." (This guy seemed to be on an ego-trip. Because of his experience, I felt dependent on him, which made me very uncomfortable.)
I used the same procedure I use to upgrade the forums, so I was surprised it didn't work. But the forums don't use a database (and the blog does), which is why I suspect I had problems. Finally got 'er working again. Whew! That suk'ed.
$80 Sennheiser earbud headphones for $15 (with rebate) + free shipping .. if you need a new pair. Good deal. Many positive reviews, so lotsa people are buying these, and happy with their purchase. (September is my favorite month. Warm days, cool nights.)