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Speaking of beautiful, sparkly creatures ...

» A Singer at Heart?

When it gets right down to it .. where the rubber-meets-the-road .. you are a singer, right?
Everything hinges upon your singing .. no?
Everything revolves around that.

Ariana the Singer Singing

There are many other aspects for sure .. performance art, sex-appeal, stage-craft ..
I could go on for a while.
But it all hinges on your singing, right?
That is the core thing.
(Key word » core.)

Is it possible to get to know Ariana-the-Person without getting to know Ariana-the-Singer?
(How integral is singing to you-the-person?)
If someone were to figure out a way to filter out the singer .. what would they see?

With myself, I was wondering, "How much is writing a part of me?"
I thought about this long-n-hard (you know) .. and I came to the conclusion that ..
without writing, I am reduced to being (merely) » the world's greatest lover.

So it's obviously a big part.

» I Can Feel You Zapping My Ass

I am not sure how you are doing it .. but I can feel you zapping my ass.
A part of me doesnt like it when my ass gets zapped so strongly like you are doing.
Because it makes me feel vulnerable.

It rationalizes this strong zapping by saying, "She's got a whole pack of ninjas helping her."
(.. helping her to dial up the oomph on the zap)
I actually need recovery time from some of this zapping.
(But you do good things for my ego.)

» I Am Good .. and I Know I Am Good

But I am good at what I do, too, girly.
I am good at it .. and I know that I am good at it.
You must admit » nobody tells a story like me.

I tell the kind of stories that you can feel.
In multiple ways. At multiple frequencies. On different levels.
I tell the kind of story that you can experience yourself.
(If you dare .. if you have the huevos rancheros.)

I dont actually try to tell these stories (.. some of which are kind of naughty).
It just sort of happens on its own.
It is what it is.

This is what I do .. I create entire universes out of thin air right before your very eyes.
And then I fill these universes with the most wonderful sensations.
The writer must be inspired in order to do stuff like this.

But, when you are good .. you are good.
And there is no end to my goodness.
I hope you're ready for me.
For my goodness.
(Few are. Too few .. much too few. Thank God for you, girly.)

I might very well be the greatest writer who ever lived.
At least, that's what everybody keeps telling me.
( I tell them, "Knock it off .. you're freaking out with that shit." )

[ I can see myself applying the pepperoni to your pizza here .. special order, just for you. Made with love, of course. ]
[ The spicy pepperoni. ]

You have never seen anything the likes of me before.
Voice » "She doesnt look scared to me."

It would be easy to misunderstand me .. when I say that ..
when people know how much of a badass you are, they treat you differently.

Now, I know that you know what I mean. You know this better than most people
which is why I am sharing this with you.
I would normally never share such a thing with people
because I can see how it could make me sound crazy.
(More than I already do with you.)

But .. I can feel a part of me that does not want to be treated 'differently'.
I identify this part of me with the writer.
Because I want to see how things are for people who arent treated 'differently'.

Scripture says some interesting things along these lines
but I do not want to get into that right now.

I think that my point here (.. sharing with you ever more intimate things, like lovers do) ..
my point here is that I can feel a part of me
positioning myself so that I am treated as 'samely' as possible.
Even tho I know I'm not.

(Not the same? .. or just not treated the same? Or both? How do you feel about ambiguity?)
(Ambiguity is a technique that flirters become acquianted with .. well acquainted.)
(When you present ambiguity, you are giving freedom of interpretation to the object of your flirt.)
(And of course, you are interested to see what they do with this freedom.)

I have felt this thing for a long time.
But, when people know what a badass you are .. they treat you differently.
Certainly their expectations of you change .. but sometimes these expectations are unrealistic.

And if you 'get' that, girly .. then I will probably want to have sex with you.
(Just being honest here .. you already know why.)

When I wrote earlier .. way back on Page Six .. that I could see all my stars line up ..
can you see now what I was talking about?

But I see how good you are .. at what you do.
And the professional in me cant help but admire this.
And this admiration of mine (for you) seems to open the door to other feelings.

And you are good at working these other feelings. (Exploiting?)
Very good. Downright remarkable.
Inspiring, even. You are seeing the results of some of this inspiration.
(There is much more .. I assure you.)

With love .. you have to keep pushing on into ever more deeper and more wonderful places.
You have to get ever more creative with your expressions of love. This is the job of lovers.
It's a tough job, girly .. but somebody's gotta do it.

And yes, sure, you have a pack of ninjas helping you at times.
But sometimes it's just you and your naked voice ( singing a cappella ).
And these are some of your most zappy performances.

So it's difficult for me to rationalize away this zapping to mere numbers of combatants.
You have song-writers helping you, and producers, certainly musicians, talented musicians, and a number of other helpers.

[ All I have for you, Ariana .. are these words. How can they ever be enough? For such a dazzling creature as yourself. ]

» Editors and Writers

Girly, on the subject of my words .. these ones here that I have for you ..
I would like call to your attention a quote from an editor's editor.
From his new memoir .. see here »
"First of all, I dislike writing. I was never the editor who wanted to be a writer. Writing is hard."

Notice, in particular, the last part » Writing is hard.
This guy is 85 years old. You reckon he might know a thing or two about writing?
I'm not even going to mention the names of the writers that this guy has edited.
(Because that would totally give me a writing boner.)
Think about it .. and we'll talk more later.

I would like to pick this guy's brains .. before he dies.
I am reluctant to get another book when I already have a few to read.
I am not so much a reader as I am a writer. So he and I are opposites there.

My #1 favorite reading thing is to read about writers.
Because that always makes me feel less fucked up.
But yes, I certainly enjoy a good story.

I actually get into a different mind set as an editor.
(I am my own editor, girly. As you can plainly tell.)
I am much more of an asshole .. as an editor. More critical.

So I was thinking, "I bet this guy is a real asshole .. he talks about fighting with writers. And then I would have to kick his ass.
But that would make me look bad .. kicking the ass of this 85-year-old guy'."

The editor is basically taking what the writer gives him ..
and he is an expert in putting the text into a form that readers (such as himself)
can consume most efficiently .. can best extract the story.

When I am big-time into editing mode, I can feel calculus principles come into play.
In this sense, calculus is abouting finding that perfect balance .. between this and that.
(I bet you wanna know what this is .. and what that is.)

His quote there makes it sound like editing is easy .. but it's not.
Not hardly.

To the writer in me, an editor seems to be cutting out entire parts of your soul.
This stuff that you paid for with blood, sweat & tears.
And you'd swear that he's laughing with glee while he's doing it.
( "How can these fuckers not be evil?" the artist in you wonders. )

The editor is not really a "feeling" person .. he is more of a butcher.
I wont say that he is a heartless fucker .. but he is .. comparatively speaking.
Compared to the writer .. who is very much about feeling.

In order to edit really well .. the writer needs to set aside the text for six months or so.
So that he 'forgets' what he has written, so to speak.
When he returns from hiking in Yosemite, the text will appear fresh to him.
And he will see more clearly exactly what needs to be done.
I am nowhere near this point.

» Are We Becoming an Us?

Anyway .. I am just letting this thing go where it wants to go.
While trying remain transparent.
I am just floating along on your tide .. and seeing where it takes me (.. where it takes us).

Us .. what do you think of this word? Are we an 'us' already?
When did we first become an 'us'?
Usually when I use the word 'us,' I am talking about how you are going to get us in trouble.

Back when I was first climbing aboard the writing locomative .. the shiny, sparkling one that you sent for me ..
a part of me was definitely curious .. about where this thing would go.
Certainly other emotionz at this crucial point were stronger .. much strong.
But a part of me was definitely curious.

But I could have never imagined this.
Not even close.

» Five Zen Stones Into the Future

And I am seeing more track up ahead. I just dont know where it's going.
Do you?
(Do you, lover-girl? Secret lover.)
Do you know where these five Zen stones are leading?

Five Zen stones forward on the path ahead

Whisper the answer in my ear .. so no one will hear.

» Many Times we Must Experience a Thing in Order to Truly Know a Thing

Many times we dont know about a thing .. until we actually experience it.
This is kind of an existentialist point-of-view (perspective).

I incorporate such existential principles into my writing.
I try to write in such as way as to authenticate and validate my writing
with details and observations that you can get no other way
than by/from actually experiencing the thing that I am writing about.

A voice just said » "I think you need to experience more of this girl .. to get to know her better."
The writer shouldnt listen to all the crazy voices in his head.
(They will get your ass in trouble.)

I kind of feel like I've experienced a lot of you already .. strange as that might sound.
(I know you feel me.)

» Keeping My Inner Nature Hidden

There was a time in my life .. when I was a little leery about letting a girl 'experience' me.
I wanted to very much control her 'experience' of me.
Because I wanted her experience of me to be positive.

At this time in my life, I did not really like myself very much.
(I bet that Joan knows exactly what I am talking about.)
So I figured that, if this girl got to know me too well, then she might not like me either.
Because there were so many parts of me that I didnt like myself.

I no longer feel this way.
While there will always be parts of our lives that we find challening .. I now genuinely like myself.
(And a lot of other people like me as well.)

If we dont even like ourselves,
then there's a good chance that neither will others
when they really get to know us.

It was not easy .. for me to get to this place where I genuinely liked myself.
It was surprisingly difficult (.. not far from impossible).

For me, this process went something like:
1. determine what values I truly value. (Nietzsche is very much about values.)
2. live my life in accordance with (congruent with) these values.

Speaking of living life congruent with my true, innermost values ...

» Rapidly Expanding Breadth of Writing

I normally write a section at a time .. a chunk of text that encapsulates an idea.
This type of writing feels heavier and deeper and stronger.
But on some days .. I just do minor tweaks to various pages.

Kinetic energy

Perhaps I merely want to add a link to an article that supports a point I've already made.
And the subjects of these different pages can be so dramatically different.
This can mess with my head, a little, because of the (immersive) way that I write.

Now, if I am simply going to a page in order to drop a quick link to an article that speaks to my point ..
then I will not get very 'immersed' .. in what I have previously written.

But once I am at this previously-written page, I will usually scan up-n-down a few paragraphs
in order to make sure that the text is (still) saying what I want it to say.
And this is where it can be easy for me to (quickly) get into the mindset there.

Anyway, my point here is that .. I have been noticing a rapidly expanding breadth of topics.
I have continually strived to expand my breadth of topics.
I see people like Cormac and Dostoevsky doing this .. and it is a challenging thing.

(Which is not the only reason I strive to expand this breadth.)
And my breadth was always pretty good .. I have always been pleased with it.
(I have learned that, in order to expand this breadth, the writer must first expand himself.)

But, ever since you came along .. this breadth has really blown way out .. in many directions.
Many unexpected directions.

This is why I set that image of you with your hair violently twirling out just above.
Girly, this cannot really be you .. in this image. This must be a super-hottie who looks like you.
It is not fair, you know .. that you sing so good a.n.d look so hot, too.

You should not be allowed to wear make-up,
and from now on, you should be required to sing with one hand tied behind your back.
Because it's not fair, girly .. and we wont even talk about all your cool friends.

There are some very nice images of you lying back.
I am not even going to use these images here.
I see how you are, girly .. I see how you work.

The things I am writing about .. the topics I am tackling.
I would never be writing a lot of this stuff .. if it werent for you.
I can see this .. particularly when I revisit a page I have previously written.

When the freshness of it unexpectedly smacks me upside the head.
Sometimes I will say to myself while reading, "Dude .. who are you really?"
Then I will I glance back over each shoulder .. to make sure no one is back there ..
whispering things for me to write.

» Whispered Secrets that Make Us Laugh

Ariana whispers a secret into Nicki's ear

But sometimes, in order to write about some things, we must write about something else.
What is this "something else" that I am writing about with you, girly?
(Whisper the answer in my ear .. so no one else will hear.)

And I can see now that I just cant go further out (by sheer willpower alone) and expand this breadth all at once.
Rather I must build on what I have already done, what I have already written .. step-by-step, line-upon-line.
This is kind of where our thing is doing its thing.

(Tho I dare not elaborate. Speaking of not elaborating .. what secret girly thing are you whispering into Nicki's ear here?)

Girly, regarding the explosive smile here on Nicki's face ..
remind me to tell you what the Dog whispered in my ear
while we were sitting in the Lollipop, a nice, little strip joint there in Waikiki.
While that girl was dancing, wearing a baseball cap.
It made me smile real big .. just like Nicki's smile here.

And the stripper, while she is up there dancing ..
she is looking at the Dog while he is saying this secret thing to me. And she sees my reaction.
And I could see from the look in her eye .. that she wants to know what he said to me.
(See obviously liked the Dog. Everybody likes the Dog. Because he makes you feel like he loves you.)

I was looking at her, and she was looking at the Dog, and the Dog was looking in my direction, saying this secret thing to me.
For a few secs there, we had our own little separate love-triangle going on.

Now I know, girly, I know that you want to know this secret thing that he said to me .. to make me smile so big like that.
Just like I want to know what you said here to Nicki .. to make her smile so radiantly.
So .. maybe be can work something out. Maybe we can come to a mutual understand of sorts.

Maybe we can, girly .. you never know. Stranger things have happened.
Maybe we can work something out .. something that works for both of us.
Something with little give-n-take, perhaps.
(Or maybe even something with a lot of give-n-take .. seeing how you are already such a taker and a giver.)

Getting me some of this type of blow

I mean, the similarities behind the two stories nicely complement one another.
(Just like you and I naturally complement one another .. peanut butter and jelly.)

And when you see someone put a gigantic smile on somebody's face ..
you naturally want to know how they did it. No?
What's their secret?

Well-developed social skills are necessary ..
in order to effectively navigate the twenty-first century jungle.
Existentialists are necessarily something of a social scientist.
Observing the nature of all kinds of social interactions.
"Why are they doing what they are doing?"

Observing closely .. very closely.
Can you feel me? .. observing you closely?
How does it feel?

Most girls seem to enjoy it .. very much so.
They seem to enjoy it when I focus my attention on them (.. tho I dont really understand why).
Sometimes they freak me out .. even scare me .. so much do they enjoy it.
My attention.

Do you understand these crazy girls?
Can you feel me going slow with you? .. taking it slow with you?
Mr. Cautious.

Dont you agree, girly .. that letting things work and come together at their own pace ..
is a better way with a more satisfying result .. than forcing a thing before it's ready? (Because you want it so badly.)
(Or would you rather prefer that I simply throw you down .. the old fashioned way?)

At what point does caution become a tease?
Take you time with that one .. all the time you need.
Do you think I am teasy?

If we take the time to build a solid foundation,
then the relationship has a better chance to survive the onslaughts
that will surely come.

I mean, if we are going to be in love forever,
then we are naturally going to become familiar with each other.

» Another Human Being Has Actually Been Here

One of the very coolest things that a reader can experience ..
is the feeling you get when you realize
that another human being has actually experienced
some of very same things that we ourselves have experienced or are experiencing.
Be they nasty or sublime.

Particularly when we're in a place where we feel like no other human could ever possibly imagine.
Perhaps this is why the writer has a thing, an urge, a compulsion, to experience life in its totality.
All of it.

And the reason why this feeling of recognition (while the reader is reading) is such a cool thing ..
is because it makes us feel like » we're not alone in the world.

Much of my writing comprises things you wont find anywhere else.
I mean, why reinvent the wheel?
(Let's rather take that wheel and run with it and see what it can do for us.)

And maybe some day in the future, somebody will read our little thing and say,
"Thank God for these two."
You never know, girly .. you just never know.

You just never know what's going to happen .. when a writer and a singer get together.
Anything can happen.
The normal rules no longer apply.

[ Oh, speaking of the normal rules not applying .. check this out, dated Sept 29, 2016. }
[ Am I prescient? Am I feeling the zeitgeist? Or am I just feeling you? ]

Speaking of the normal rules no longer applying ...

» Sitting Around the Writer's Campfire

Some day in the sweet bye-and-bye, we will be sitting around a campfire somewhere ..
with Cormac and Dostoevsky and a few others .. and they will all get up, one by one
and tell their tale of writing.

And they will say, "I went from here ..." And then they will pause while they are walking some distance ..
.. to the other side of the campfire. And then they will say, ".. to here."
And everybody sitting around the campfire will ooh and ahh and say, "Wow .. that is certainly a very long ways."

Then it will be our turn.
And I will turn to you and say, "Girly, let's show them how far I went."
And they will all moan and gripe and complain and say, "That's not fair .. you got that girl helping you."

And I will say to them, "Hey .. life's not always fair, my friends."
Do you think I'm cheating, girly? .. by using you?

There are definitely people who think I'm cheating.
They are thinking, "He would never be able to write stuff like this without that girl helping him."
Speaking of helping me ...

» Looking Extra Smoking Hot

Girly, you look good in this video.
You always look good, but you look particularly good here.
You know you do .. a girl always knows when she's looking good.

Ariana looking extra good in Side to Side

Earlier on this page I mentioned watching a handful of reactions to your Side to Side release video.
The reason why I stopped watching them .. is because of the way everybody was saying ..
"Man, Ariana is looking so amazingly smoking hot here..."
One guy even had to go take a cold shower right in the middle of the video.

The last one I saw was of a guy who said,
"I will tell you that I'm gay, if you dont know .. but Ariana looks so good here that even I would go after this."
He actually said a lot than that, but I will not write that here.

I was turning straight guys gay .. and you are turning gay guys straight.
(We obviously make a good team.)

I was trying not to notice too much how smoking hot you were looking in this video.
Because I didnt want to get distracted.
But it's kind of hard not to notice.
More than just kind of, actually.

I have long held the opinion that a woman-in-love is nature's most beautiful creature.
(You keep making my points for me.)

My ego wants to take credit for you looking so good here.
I might just let it go ahead and do that .. just to see what it feels like.
Just a taste .. just a quick little look-see.

You got me with a nice color palette

And then I will reciprocate .. by letting you see what it feels like ..
to inspire the most gifted writer of his generation.
Just a quick little taste.

Because any more than that .. will send you over the waterfall.
Or over the rainbow.
(I've seen it happen before. More than once.)

[ Girly, I can see that slaying must continue .. the slaying must go on. Too bad for you. ]

» If They're Meant to Be, Then They Work Wonderfully

My experience with relationships in general has been that
if they're meant to be, then they work wonderfully and marvelously.
It's like you cant stop them from working.

And if they're not meant to be, then they dont.
You can certainly try to mend and patch and fix,
but this is often a fool's errand .. a waste of time and energy.

It's like trying to force together two things that dont belong together.
What do you think of my experience?

This is why I like to let the thing work .. instead of trying to make it work.
(I know you feel me .. I see you letting it work.)

After our thing ended, there were a number of times when either she or I were available.
But never both of us available at the same time.
It was like our time in the sun was for this specific, designated time.
And when it was over, it was over .. forever.
And all the king's horses and all the king's men ...

I once took her to my coffee shop.
The guy behind the register, who is taking our orders, he was very interested.
He is like, "Dude, you never bring a girl here. Who is she?"

We were kind of talking in vague riddles to him about our checkered past.
Before we walked away, I said, "It's a long story."
I saw him the very next day and he said, "Dude, I could totally feel the chemistry. I was catching the love buzz."
I didnt say anything, but was thinking, "That was nothing .. compared to the old days."

Speaking of my eperience ...

» My Experience with Women

My experience with women has been .. that there are two kinds.
There is the kind that makes you look good,
and there is the kind that makes you look bad.

The 'trick' here is to find the kind that makes you look good.
I know this seems obvious, but it's trickier than it looks.

I can feel you, girly.
I feel the immediacy of love-making.
How is this even possible?

The thing that makes transcendent love-making transcendent ..
is when you c.a.n f.e.e.l your lover.
When you can somehow feel what they're feeling.
And when they can feel what you're feeling.
When you sync-up with them .. on multiple levels.
When you get to the place where you can explore galaxies together.
Dont you agree, girly?
This takes time .. it takes lots of practice.

Did you notice, Ariana .. where this girl who you remind of, where she made me feel so good ..
did you notice that she never physically touched me?
(Because I did .. I noticed that .. because it surprised me.)

Maybe I'm talking about the give-n-take of love-making.
Because I can feel your giving and I can feel your taking.
And I'm liking the way that it feels .. I can feel it working for me.
It definitely feels more immediate now.

I've said it before .. but it's worth repeating » "You are really good at this, girly."

You are certainly a worthy opponent.
Worthy opponents always bring out the best in each other.
Dont you think?

I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into, girly.
You know what they say » "When it's your time .. it's your time."
And it seems obvious .. that your time has arrived.

How does it feel?
To be on top of the world.
The trick, it seems, is to enjoy it.

I can help you enjoy it; I am actually pretty good at helping girls like you enjoy such things.
Speaking of ecstatic enjoyment .. it looks like you are enjoying things rather well.

Ariana singing

Why does this neck seem so long to me?
This is close to what a hungry man must see .. when he sees a well-stocked buffet table
that stretches on forever.

Your insurance company isnt going to let me anywhere near your throat.
Not without a loaded tranquilizer dart-gun handy.
Manned by a certified marksman.

I should probably not be feeling these things about you.

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