Ariana Singing Dangerous Woman at the B96 Summer Bash in Chicago
June 26, 2016
The last time a girl cocked her arms back at me like that,
I destroyed her bed into a thousand pieces.
There was nothing left of her come morning. (Yes, I looked.)
The last thing I heard her say was, "Wow .. I have never felt anything like that before."
She looked kind of dazed and confused. |
( She actually looked very dazed and confused .. to be frank. )
I did not say what I was thinking when she said that.
( I really do try to keep my ego in check, girly .. but you just make this so hard sometimes. )
You are obviously feeling this. And I am totally feeling you.
I am not even gonna write what you are making me feel here.
But, I know that you know.
I mean, this is shitty audio (taken behind the bass speaker, which is distorting the sound) and lousy video,
but still, I am feeling you so clearly.
I was just thinking recently how your voice seems indestructable.
But I see here that your woo-woo thing is giving out.
I mean, you have been wailing like a crazed banshee all over the world.
For the last several months.
And you dont just sing one or two songs, either.
So I was not surprised to see you backing off on the woo-woos.
This stroking the mic stand that you do .. that is very bold shit, girly.
I can feel your authenticity on the slide.
When you sang this song in Paris, you snatch the mic off the stand (at t=0:22) so snappily that
my hand instinctively went down to check and see if my artillery were still there.
I was like, "Whew .. it's still there. Good. She didnt get it. 'Cause it felt like she did."
This is very sexy shit that you are doing when you are feeling this so much.
It somehow transports the thing to a whole 'nother dimension.
Where I can feel you so clearly.
I like feeling you, girly. You make me feel good.
Here in Chicago, you sing with a million little gestures.
That all speak to me .. very confident shit.
Confidence tells me that a girl can handle me .. handle my weight.
I take them slow .. adding a little more weight at a time .. and see how well they respond.
I realize that there is a lot there .. and I surely dont want to hurt anyone.
So, when I see this display of confidence, it says to me » "She can handle more weight."
You do some serious woo-woo'ing there in Paris.
I cannot understand why it has such an overwhelming affect on me.
But it does. It obviously does.
At 3:36, at the very end here (Paris),
you reach out and extend your left arm and touch the bass player on your way out.
(.. with a big-ass smile on your face )
That speaks to me .. and I very much like what it says.
I do shit like that.
You're just putting a little love and appreciation on him.
And you want him to feel that love and appreciation.
I'm not gonna say that I love you, girly .. but it keeps getting harder not to.
Actually, you are not even a girly here.
You are grown-ass woman .. throwingdown most impressively.
Speaking of grown-ass women throwingdown most impressively...
» Is it Just Me .. or Does Not Selena's Bell Look Rung Here?
Do not the lyrics suggest such a thing?
She looks happy enough here for 10 girls. Good for her.
I have seen a few things where she spoke.
And it was obvious that she is a thoughtful, intelligent person.
Not just another pretty face.
James Corden was pissing his pants on that roller coaster,
and she was cool .. singing to him.
Guys always hate it when girls make them look like big pussies.
Especially so when girly-girls do it.
But, long as you aint that guy .. then, it's fun to watch.
Sometimes, afterwards, I just start laughing .. like a nut-case.
I'm not really sure why I start laughing.
But I know that it just feels so good .. that I cant stop.
It is a laugh that goes very deep.
Like something way down in there is tickled pink.
Sometimes, if you have lots of frustration built up, and it comes out .. that can feel good.
» My Justin Bieber Story
So .. I pick up my son from school. He was in the 1st or 2nd grade.
And I would take the bus up to his school, because the court had taken away my driver's license.
( Even after I had max'ed out all my credit cards to pay for lawyers to defend myself ..
.. and had sold my car to pay child support and was using a friend's car to get around. )
When he was in kindergarten, I asked him, "What's your favorite part of school?"
He gave it a few secs of honest contemplation and said, "When we get in line to go get our parents."
I thought, "Oh my God .. he cannot possibly know how cute he is."
So I picked him up on this particular day and I am riding my bike slowly in the gutter beside him,
while he is riding his razor-scooter on the sidewalk.
And I was asking him about his day at school.
And he says, "All the girls like this Justin Beaver guy."
He says "Beaver" .. like the animal.
I said, "I think his name is Bieber .. with two "b"s .. but, I know who you're talking about."
And the way he says it, you can tell that he is clearly dejected.
I had rarely seen him like this.
But, this is a feeling that every guy knows only too well.
He is looking straight ahead and you can see that he is clearly not happy about this.
I waited a few secs and said, "I think he lives up in LA. You wanna go up there and kick his butt?"
".. And tell him to leave your girlfriends alone?"
» We Gotta Go to In-n-out, Dad
Now, there is an In-n-Out both at the stop where we get ON the bus (across the street, diagonally),
and also at the stop where we get OFF (right around the corner).
And when I say this thing about kicking Justin's butt, a little smile breaks out on his face.
Obviously he is amused by the idea of kicking Justin's butt.
But he says, "We gotta go
to In-n-Out, dad."
I waited another a few secs before saying,
"You're right. A man has his priorities. Maybe some other time."
That's my Justin Bieber story.
Who all the first-grade girls love.
It was just a cute, little story that I wanted to share with Ariana,
as a way of establishing another point-of-contact with her,
seeing that she obviously knows him personally.
He has no idea how close he came to getting some First-Grader Home Alone action.
Good thing for him it was an In-n-Out day.
While I was writing this, the voice in my head said,
"Dude, do you realize that you're telling Selena Gomez your Justin Bieber story?"
Sometimes these crazy voices actually surprise me with their insights.
» By Grace Through Faith
Speaking of these crazy voices ..
I noticed, when I went to your Instagram page, in order to grab that link,
seeing that you are the Queen of Instagram,
I noticed where you wrote at the top » By grace through faith.
It made me pause and ponder.
I was certainly not expecting to see that there.
This is actually the gist of the thing that pastor said to me here.
This was a very difficult concept for me to 'get' .. for me to grasp.
Especially when you consider that it is a relatively simple concept.
» Making It My Own
[ Tho I do, periodically, set links to words I write .. ]
[.. links to verses of scripture that demonstrate my understanding of that particular verse. ]
[ I especially like to do this when the effect of the linked-verse creates a thought-provoking effect. ]
[ This is my way of saying, "This is my understanding of this verse .. what do you think?" ]
[ Because I think that many people have an inaccurate concept of God .. like I used to have. ]
[ Many people try to fit God into their limited mental framework .. instead of using His Framework. ]
[ Linking to these verses is, for me, a way of making them my own. ]
[ Along with, of course, putting them into practice in my life .. much as possible. ]
[ Which is trickier than it looks .. much trickier. ]
[ Love those who intentionally fuck you over .. I mean, how hard can that be? ]
Because most people have already formed an opinion on such things,
and many of these opinions are strongly held.
People see these self-professing christians doing this nasty shit and they say,
"If this is what it means to be a christian, then this is obviously not for me."
(I get it.)
Even with myself .. growing up Catholic in Connecticut ..
I could see, "If this is what it means to be a Catholic, then it obviously aint for me."
I didnt know what the answer was .. but I could clearly see what it wasnt.
I remember thinking, "I gotta get out of here."
Tho, I wasnt really looking for anything else .. except escaping from the dysfunctional dystopia.
» Everything You Believe About Religion is Full of Shit
It wasnt until I ran into this dude, this California dude, who I had known before,
but then we lost touch .. until I ran into him again and we started to catch up on things.
Now, this guy .. he is the l.a.s.t person who you would ever imagine even knew what the bible was.
( God is famous for using the l.a.s.t person you would ever imagine. )
And he was sharing some things here-n-there among telling me this-n-that.
And he was actually quoting to me chapter-n-verse.
Which, itself, was kinda tripping me out.
( If you knew this dude, you would understand. )
But, growing up Catholic, I really never learned much of anything
regarding what the scriptures themselves actually say.
Other than the obvious » try to be a good person and you should feel bad if you fuck over somebody.
( Indeed, for centuries, the scriptures were locked away. )
And I had gone to Sunday school right after church for years.
( That classroom was so cold in winter that we left our coats on. )
And this guy .. he is basically telling me that everything I believe is bullshit.
I mean, he didnt come right out and say it like that, no. But that was his gist.
So, he kinda pissed me off a little.
But, I knew jack-squat to refute his bullshit.
Now, I only saw this dude for a short time .. a few times over a period of a few weeks.
And we talked about lots more stuff, too.
He had traveled the world and had stories galore, and photos to authenticate the stories.
But it definitely rocked me on a certain level, when somebody takes a sledge to your foundation of faith.
.. to everything I had ever thought and felt about religious things.
Months had passed since I talked to that dude.
When I finally started to see some things .. and I am like,
"All that stuff that this dude was saying is right here in the book."
Do you stick with what you have known to be true all your life?
Or do you go with what the book says?
This is not as easy of a decision as it might seem.
you, you know, growing up, that, if you ever leave the Catholic religion,
you are going burn in the fires of hell eternally forever .. and probably longer.
They drill this into you repeatedly .. from a very young age.
To what degree does rejecting what the scriptures say equal a rejection of God himself?
Many such troubling questions started bouncing around inside my coconut.
Anyway, my point here is that .. I really set out to prove that this guy was full of shit.
And I wanted to be able to back up what I was saying with chapter-n-verse,
just like he was doing.
But, the concept of by-grace-through-faith ..
I had never even heard of that concept growing up Catholic.
It was completely foreign to me.
See .. to the ears and eyes of a not-very-religious Catholic boy (like me),
what this dude said, and what I read in the scriptures was this .. to paraphrase,
"There is nothing you can do .. to put yourself into a right-relationship with God."
No matter how much good stuff you do .. it can never be enough. Ever.
(So why even try?)
Or perhaps putting it this way would be better » "Your best aint good enough .. not even close."
This is not something that anyone with an ego enjoys hearing.
» Found by Those Who did not Seek Me
There is a verse in Romans, where Paul is quoting Isaiah, who is quoting God Himself, saying:
"I was found by those who did not seek me."
This verse very much speaks to me.
Because I was not "seeking God" per se.
Because I did not even know that I needed to.
I was simply trying to educate myself as to what the scriptures themselves actually say.
So that I would be able to respond to people who presented me with arguments like my friend had.
And so I wouldnt feel like a clueless, ignorant christian.
» Like I Wandered in the Backdoor
So, perhaps you can see why I felt like I had wandered in the backdoor on this stuff.
When it finally dawned on me what had happened,
which probably took the better part of a year ..
I thought, "Oh my God .. I'm one of those crazy people."
» One of those Crazy People
I can only imagine the look on my face.
And I prayed, "Dear God, please dont let me become one of those crazy people."
» The Baptist Girl
And when I started to see into some of these things,
I was seeing this girl. She was actually a few years older than me,
and many more years ahead of me in other ways.
( She was definitely a fascinating creature. Many times she blew my mind. On an almost weekly basis. )
I mean, they can tell you what the scriptures actually say,
rather than the teachings that their particular denomination might cite as doctrine.
Which mean nothing, no matter how enthusiastically those doctrines might be embraced, if they are based on error.
» Unwilling to Suffer With?
I have heard christians tell me many eyebrow-raising things.
For example, I have heard (with my own ears, no less) christians say that Jesus didnt suffer.
I am talking about christians who have spent their whole lives in church.
So naturally, I catch myself wondering,
"How can these christians ever expect (as a child of God) to suffer with Him .. if they dont even accept that He suffered?"
.. if they dont even believe what the scriptures say over and over and over again .. that He did indeed suffer?
Maybe they know something that I dont know?
Perhaps I am missing something obvious? .. something painfully obvious.
Am I reading the scriptures wrong?
Even as a Catholic boy I knew that Jesus suffered.
And I hardly knew anything at all about what the actual scriptures themselves said.
Even people who are not christians know that Jesus suffered.
Why would someone reject a fundamental tenant of the gospel narrative?
You never want to find yourself in a place where you are denying what the scriptures say.
This is a fool's errand, my friend (.. as you will see).
Just like you never want to find yourself in a place ..
.. where you are fucking over (oppressing) the weak and the poor and the helpless.
Such a place is fraught with much danger.. my spidy senses tell me.
The scriptures also say that Paul was going to suffer, too.
Would the Lord demand something of others that He Himself was not willing to do?
Everybody knows people like this .. and they are not very nice people.
But what can you do with people like this?
The scriptures say that the real christians rejoiced at being considered worthy to be beaten and suffer for his name.
They considered it an honor for them to suffer as a christian.
Perhaps they find such suffering too difficult .. too unpleasant.
Perhaps they find any suffering .. too unpleasant, too difficult, too much to handle.
Tho it begs the question » What kind of christian is unwilling to suffer with Christ?
What kind of christian vigorously denies that Christ sufffered?
Because safety and salvation is always on the side of the prophetic scriptures.
» The Fisherman with the Boat
» Suffering is the Thing that Gives the Blood of Christ Its Redemptive Power
But notice in particular (and this key) that the scriptures teach that he did nothing deserving of punishment.
So why, then, did he suffer so horribly?
Right about here is where the lightbulb should be coming on for you.
I'm not saying that everything that this lightbulb illumines for you is going to necessarily be pretty,
such as the one that you might be used to.
But if you follow where that light leads you .. no matter how ugly things might appear ..
(.. and yes, for me, they were very ugly)
this light will take you to a cool place.
Now, if you're looking for easy .. this is not going to be easy.
Unless you consider having your soul ripped apart an easy thing.
Only the bad parts are going to be ripped out, but you may feel like a part of you is dying.
(Because that exactly how I felt.)
I saw Steve Harvey wearing a shirt that said:
Faith doesnt make it easy; it only makes it possible.
I very much resonate with that sentiment.
But, what is the "it" that he refers to?
Some people arent looking for easy, they're only looking for a chance.
A chance at what?
The lottery gives you a chance. Is Steve advocating playing the lottery every week?
Is that the kind of possibility he is talking about?
Galileo said, "We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves."
True that, Mr. Galileo.
But if people arent interested in
seeing these things of which I speak,
then even God Himself doesnt force them.
He leaves them to their own devices.
My point here in this section, perhaps, is to say that
if a person cannot or does not see that the sufferings of Christ are what gives His Blood it redemptive power ..
this person is in a bad place.
A very bad place.
Sometimes I feel funny writing about this stuff, because I have not been classically trained in a seminary.
I just read the book. Any American can read the book for themself.
Nobody is stopping them from reading it for themself.
(Nobody stopped me, anyway.)
» The Writing Says to Pharaoh
It probably means nothing to anybody but me .. but, notice how the original language (greek for NT) ..
does not use the term » scripture .. but rather, it simply calls the scriptures » the Writing ..
with a capital W .. to notate a Special Kind of writing.
These kinds of things speak to me.
I can tell that there is much more there than I am getting.
but it is so good .. that even a little is a lot.
I am not going to tell you what this says to me, no.
Because then I would sound like a nut-case.
(Which I aleady do enough of .. with Miss Ariana. More than enough, actually.)
But surely you see how the Creative aspects of such Writing might interest me.
When I first saw HTML, I knew that this would be right up my alley.
Technology and writing combined.
Fun city for the creative writer.
For the experimentalist.
» Appearances vs Substance
A guy wrote to me once and gave me shit for not capitalizing certain words, such as » scripture.
I mean, he was very much fired up by this.
And, of course, it's difficult to put the scriptures in practice ..
.. when you dont even know what they say.
I did not say, "Go fuck yourself, buddy." .. but, on second thought, maybe I did.
I can only suffer fools so long.
(We should all know and be honest about both our strengths and our weaknesses.)
Anyway .. my experience has been that every one of these Baptists can tell you what the scriptures actually say.
They have all the key doctural points locked down hard.
And they can tell you what they say rather effortlessly, too, in my opinion.
Certainly more than any Catholic boy I grew up with.
You can make the scriptures say pretty much whatever you like,
if you pick-n-choose your verses, and take them out-of-context,
and ignore the inconvenient ones that say things you dont like,
and then bend those out-of-context verses to fit your unscriptural views.
And I remember being amazed at this girl's familiarity with this stuff,
which had taken me so long to get.
She's like, "Oh yeah, we learned all that in second grade."
» Resonating with Themes Found in the Matrix
With me .. it was very much like that scene in the Matrix,
where Neo reaches out and touches the mirror out of curiosity,
and the mirror turns to liquid and slowly starts creeping up his arm.
I could feel this stuff creeping up on me .. slowly but surely.
And once it started creeping, there was no stopping it.
It seemed to be alive .. a living thing .. and it was definitely coming for me.
And it all began with a desire to show this guy that he was full of shit.
It still took me a long time to figure out the basics .. but that was the beginning.
The beginning of the end .. so to speak.
And the Witness witnesses that the promise of the Spirit is indeed by grace through faith.
And you dont get the promise of the Spirit without first being brought into a position of right-standing.
( And I got the love, too. You get that at the same time you get the Witness. You get the Lover. )
"How do you know?" some might ask.
Well, how do know when you've been struck by a bolt of lightning?
Answer » you'll know. You certainly wont be wondering, "Did I just get struck by a bolt of lightning?"
Righteousness is merely a right-standing-with God.
When you have a right-standing with God, it puts you into his good graces .. into a position of his favor.
Grace is merely favor that is not earned.
He didnt say that Abraham WAS righteous, no.
He merely said that God was going to TREAT HIM AS IF he (Abraham) were righteous.
So .. the curious mind might wonder .. if God is God, why doesnt he just MAKE (deem, declare it as so) Abraham righteous?
I mean, God can do anything that he wants to do, right?
When you are God, you get to make all the rules.
The answer to that question (.. why didnt God just MAKE Abraham righteous? ) .. is kind of the reason why pastor said,
"if you get what this verse is saying, then you pretty much get the entire gospel message."
I cannot tell you why is was so difficult for me to get this, for me to see this .. but it was.
» The Problem of Trying to Use an Economical World-View Perspective with Spiritual Things
Perhaps it has something to do with trying to use an economical view (perspective) of spiritual things.
An economical view conforms to the laws of supply and demand,
where things that are free and abundant must necessarily become worthless.
The economical mindset says » "Be it unto you according to your works."
But spiritual things are » NOT according to your works.
Rather spiritual things are » according to your faith .. as you have believed.
It is a different kind of economy .. very different.
[ And the scriptures say that he never changes. ]
The scriptures instruct the believer to "renew your mind"
so that you are no longer "conformed to this world," which is a world based on an economic mind set.
It's not a difficult mistake to make .. quite understandable.
» Getting Knowledge of What the Actual Scriptures Themselves Say was the Key for Me
Perhaps it is the geek in me .. but, once I can see underneath how a thing works,
once I can see the why behind the what .. then, this helps me to understand a thing better.
I would imagine most people feel this way, too.
Now, I have looked this thing up and down and all around.
I'm talking about after the fact .. looking for the key.
Everybody seems to have a different key.
But, for me, the key was » getting knowledge of the scriptures.
(I have given this point much thought.)
Before, I had merely knowledge of Catholic doctrine .. and not a whole lot of it, either.
Knowledge of what the scriptures actually say and teach.
And anyone who actually has this knowledge that I am referring to ..
knows exactly why I would say this .. why this is the key.
I can feel myself waxing a tad abstract here .. so maybe it's time to eject from this tangent.
Once you have actual knowledge of the scriptures, you are not done.
But without such knowledge you are going nowhere fast.
» The Cool Feeling that Comes When Your Life Resonates with the Scriptures
I like that feeling that you get
when the scriptures seem to validate your own life experiences.
Most people cannot be bothered to exert the effort
to learn for themselves what the scriptures actually say and teach.
They will gladly let somone else tell them what they say.
But, how do they ever expect to be sanctified,
if they cannot even be bothered to learn what the scriptures actually say?
I can see now that scriptural "things" w.o.r.k for you (for us, for me) ..
when you/us/me are actually » believing the scriptures themselves.
This might seem like an insignificant point, but I can see now that it is actually crucial.
See .. many people claim to believe the scriptutres because of what somebody else said about them.
But this is not believing the scriptures; rather this is believing that person.
For things to 'work' for us, we need to believe the actual scriptures.
Notice how James says that it's the word-implanted .. that saves your soul.
It wont work if you try to implant words a.b.o.u.t the word.
You have toi go directly to the Source Itself.
Because you are required to believe the Source Himself.
It's not a difficult mistake to make .. not at all.
Any teacher worth their salt should be pointing to the Original source.
Because that's how the system works.
There's definitely a genius aspect to the simplicity.
And this is why my research into these things worked for me ..
because I was dealing with the source material itself .. the scriptures themselves.
Even if my intentions were to mine this material (ore) for a different purpose.
(To show this guy that he was full of shit.)
» Forcing vs Letting
The other thing that really gave me trouble and tripped me up ..
was what I call the forcing-vs-letting thing.
Which I hesitate to even mention .. cuz it has serious rabbit-hole potential.
There is indeed an aspect of (what I call) 'forcing'.
But that's not what does it for you.
From a distance, it can be confusing .. as to what you force and what you let.
But this forcing-vs-letting thing .. is very about » by grace through faith.
Grace is grace .. you cant force grace.
You have to let it.
Forcing, on the other hand, is very much about labor and works and working and receiving your just due.
Which is completely different from grace.
And, to the degree you are about works and working and receiving your just due compensation ..
this can make the grace paradigm difficult to see into.
Even tho it's not very difficult to see.
But, if you are caught up in the works paradigm and mindset so completely ..
that makes the grace paradigm seem unreal.
Even tho God has been there all down thru the centuries saying, "It is very real indeed."
» You Must Go Directly to the Source and Get It for Yourself (No Piggybacking)
While I am mentioning spots along the way that I found particularly ..
I should probably mention trying to boost your faith using the faith of others.
You have to get your own faith directly from the scriptures yourself.
That's the way the deal works.
Just because some other person achieved a degree of success ..
.. this should certainly inspire you, yes.
But you cannot do what they do just because they did it.
Pretty much everybody makes this mistake .. so it's no big secret.
It wont work for a person if they just believe what I have written here.
Rather, they must go straight to the source for themselves in order for it to work for them.
All through the scriptures, everybody is pointing back to the original source .. not to themselves.
Not often, but there have been a few times where I unexpectedly wandered into some docturnal dispute.
Which ended when I said, "Well, that's not what the scriptures say."
And I only say that when I am confident of my position and prepared to cite verses as reference.
» Establishing Intimate Relationships
Perhaps, if I hadnt missed it .. you would of had a happier one.
I'm pretty sure of it (.. or maybe that's just my ego talking).
I have noticed that, when I am tired, my emotions get whacked out easier.
This page here, where I am writing to you ..
this page was originally posted with, for and because of .. an image of Ariana singing on her birthday (23).
And now your birthday (24) has come into play here.
I did not plan it like that.
I can feel a part of me wondering if it means anything.
» Accomplishments of People in Their Twenties
It cant be easy .. doing what you do.
( I certainly could never do that. )
You do bring a natural authenticity to it, which appears effortless.
How much of that is you .. and how much of it is a crafting of the image?
Obviously a well-crafted image you present.
Do you feel like a part of you is owned by others? By your fans?
Are you conscious of eyes being on you .. even when you're not on stage?
(I dont see how you cannot be.)
Do you wall-off different parts of your life?
Is that how you deal with all the eyes?
Have you established concentric circles based on trust?
How do you find privacy?
How do you find solitude?
Do you live a commununal style life?
There is a scene in one of Lana's videos,
where she takes a rocket-powered bazooka out of a guitar case and blows a helicopter out of the sky.
The prying eyes of the helicopter .. hovering just outside her window .. all day long.
Do you ever feel like that?
Like picking up that rocket-powered bazooka?
And cocking-back the load mechanism.
It would certainly be understandable if you did.
It would be surprising if you never felt that way.
How do you recharge your batteries?
Your emotional batteries.
» A Beautiful Creature
I have dated girls that do things like this.
(And yes, they were all beautiful creatures.)
I heard that you got a haircut. Both you and Ariana did.
What's going on with you girls?
» Ariana in the Russian DNC Email Hack
» How Real Bad-Asses Drop the Mic
The Czar sent Dostoevsky to a prison camp in Siberia for 4 years .. right after a mock execution.
No doubt it took years off his life.
Yet he still managed to help forge the modern sensibility.
(That's how real bad-asses drop the mic.)
When us-guys get a haircut, it just means that our hair was getting kinda shaggy.
But when girls get a haircut .. they say it means more.
Is that true? (Maybe it is.)
» Selena's Vogue Australia Cover for September 2016
» It's All Ariana's Fault .. that My Ego is Out of Control
I'm not even going to tell you what my ego was saying when I heard that.
But it's all Ariana's fault .. that my ego is so out of control.
I have some thoughts along these lines .. as I naturally would.
Perhaps I will return later to share some of these thoughts with you.
They say that some of the best writers in the country go to the legendary Iowa Writers' Workshop.
I think, with someone of your stature, you need to aim toward establishing meaningul friendships,
where you focus on getting-to-know and establishing trust.
That is a good platform from which to launch something more intimate.
Once you introduce the concept of a boyfriend or a girlfriend,
then people bring into play all these other expectations.
Many of which border on the unreasonable and the unrealistic.
Really getting to know a very cool person is a very cool thing.
You cannot manufacture chemistry; either it's there or it aint.
And people who are insecure deep down often do stupid things in relationships.
And someone of your renown can only exasperate such insecurity.
You also need to detail at the beginning what you both are looking for.
And what you are not looking for ..
in a relationship.
Maybe you will find that you are looking for two different things.
That wont work.
You want to set the expectations as low as possible in the beginning,
and then raise them as time passes and the relationship develops.
I always set this first bar as being that my new lover doesnt intentionally try to hurt me.
(Because that is what enemies do.)
I couldnt help but notice your use of the term "so stoked" .. which is a SoCal surfer-lingo term.
I know a little something, Selena, about SoCal surfer lingo.
Totally gnarly, dude.
You could also do what Madonna did, and find the next James Dean,
and find one of the next gifted actors of his generation,
and explore that.
I dont think that I'd like an actress, because then I would be wondering,
"How do I know that they are not acting right now?"
» You Can Have Any Guy You Want
You are Selena Fucking Gomez .. you are the Queen of Instagram .. you can have guy you want.
You can do whatever you like.
You could go sit in on a class at Columbia or Harvard or Cornell and everybody there would be happy to have you.
More than happy.
You have life experiences that I know they dont.
You obviously have a lot to share .. a lot of insights.
» Being Okay with Yourself (Without a Man)
At its worst .. it speaks of emotional neediness and perhaps even desperation.
This is another tangent entirely, and I could really get carried away, so we wont go there now.
I will say however, that ever since I have been relegated to riding my bike around town
I would often come upon a pair of girls walking on the sidewalk,
either coming the other way or walking in the direction that I was riding.
And every time I would pass one of these pairs of girls, they are always talking about some boy.
(Key word » always.)
One time, I thought they werent. They seemed to be talking about something else.
But, just before they were out of ear-shot, I realized that they were indeed talking about some boy.
So, from my (admittedly limited) perspective,
it seems like young girls talk about nothing but boys.
Is this true?
» What Kind of Person Wants to be Somebody Else?
Regarding the idea of dating an actor,
I once had a girl tell me, a girl who had explored drama in college and who enjoyed drama ..
she said, "Think about it .. what kind of person wants to be somebody else?"
I am looking forward to reading your Vogue Australia piece.
Because you are a thoughtful, beautiful creature.
Who says thoughtful, beautiful things.
» Selena Fully Reclined on the Bed in Vogue Australia September 2016
You look very nice here, Selena. You looked relaxed.
(Say hi for me.)
Selena, did you notice that these Clevver girls came in on the Labor day holiday ..
to talk about you?
Is this why you were feeling 'inauthentic'?
(This is why I could never do what you, Selena.)
» Is This Going Straight Down?
You made James Corden look like a big pussy .. I loved it.
When my son was on his first roller coaster ride,
the coaster paused for a sec or two ..
right before a sharp, steep plunge.
.. to give you a moment or two to think about it.
In fact, you couldnt even see the track .. because it disappeared, so sharp and steep was the drop.
And he is sitting in the front-left seat, where James is sitting.
And he turns his head and shouts over his left shoulder, "Is this going straight down?"
.. with more than just a touch of panic in his voice.
Especially the words "straight down."
I was sitting right behind him and clamped down my hand firmly on his right shoulder,
to make sure he didnt try to get out, or do something stupid.
I never did get to answer his question.
It sorta answered itself.
He was not happy about that ride .. and he let me know when we got off.
» The Brief but Exhilarating Fun of Riding a Roller Coaster
Years later, he would try to play it down,
inferring that he wasnt really as scared as he was.
But being a little fun-scared-exilarated .. that was part of the thrill of the experience.
And it only lasts for a few minutes.
To his defense, he was sitting in the front seat.
And the ride up front is certainly more harrowing.
He also had a pretty girl sitting in the seat beside him .. trying to comfort him.
Tho, sitting in the back, you sorta get that whiplash effect.
The easiest ride probably in the middle .. wouldnt you say, roller coaster girl?
I'd never seen anything like that with her.
She wasnt really sure why she was crying .. like she herself was surprised.
She didnt even wanna talk about it.
Some people have a deep fear of falling.
Marshall has some of that in some of his videos.
I have heard some speculate that hell has the feeling of falling forever.
I dont really wanna bring up the Christina thing,
because it is so sad and disturbing.
And I think that I read somewhere .. that you were the one who got her into the business.
I dont see how that cannot affect you.
How can you not feel responsible, in some way?
You know how the mind can play tricks on you sometimes.
Seems like a big thing to me.
And she just seemed like the sweetest person.
What the fuck?
Nana says that we cannot figure out things like this .. because they make no sense.
Did you go numb when you heard?
And this has implications for you and those who do what you do.
Maybe I shouldnt have brought it up.
The end. ■